30Elkridge, United States
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My self-summary
(Warning, you are about to read the most absurd profile ever written. I am unable to write a serious summary about myself apparently)

Who is Heart_Throb_83?:

Everything You’ve Heard. True. The rumors, the legends, the myths. All true.

For twenty-five years, Heart_Throb_83 has enjoyed a reputation for shattering inhibitions and provoking the kind of behavior people don’t talk about in polite circles. It’s what happens when you combine boyishly good looks, animalistic passion, and an open mind.

Sooner or later, it’s gonna happen. The primal urge to just let go. Unwind. Unplug. You’re not alone. Heart_Throb_83 is a reward for all those times you’ve had to deny your basic instincts. Rest assured that in his lush gardens of pure pleasure, the word “no” is seldom heard.

Heart_Throb_83 Letters of Recommendation:

For millennia, there has existed a symbiotic relationship between women and heart_throb_83. Girls across cultural boundaries have partnered with him in the name of necessity and companionship -- and, in doing so, have forged an unbreakable alliance, their raw instincts paired with our ability to love.

Let us take a moment to admire the elegance of nature, embodied wholly in the grace and composure of Heart_throb_83.

Whoopi Goldberg

Heart_throb_83 is our link to paradise: He doesn't know evil or jealousy, he teaches us friendship and selflessness, but most of all he possesses unwavering loyalty.

After a week with Heart_throb_83, you’ll find yourself viewing the world from a slightly different angle. At times you’ll find yourself smiling for no reason whatsoever.

Selena Gomez

Never before has the passion and timeless magic of romance been so faithfully portrayed by one human-being. As a leading international spokesman for love and romance, Heart_Throb_83 has been chosen by millions of women worldwide as the personification of their ideal man.

This extraordinary man delivers all the excitement, the danger, and the charm that has marked him as the worlds sexiest man and has made his name synonymous with romance.

Yours truly,
Taylor Swift

If the Gods Of Romance were to descend from the heavens and give us their golden nectar, Heart_Throb_83 would be served in a golden funnel — and I would chug the sh*t out of it.

Forever yours,
Miley Cyrus

Heart_Throb_83 is not just a cute boy with broad shoulders. He is an experience. He is a state of mind. He is a transporter of minds and souls to a paradise that will leave you feeling re-invigorated.

Forceful, dominant, aggressive, yet somehow tender and caring. Heart_Throb_83’s appearance allows your body to fully immerse itself in ecstasy. Your eyes alone cannot possibly absorb the full gamut of his physical manifestation. You take it in, dose by dose.

When Heart_Throb_83 makes eye contact with you, you will experience the unique sensation of him seeking your seal of approval. The sheer euphoria you feel is unimaginable. Breathless. Skin tingling. You will feel as though every drop of energy has been sucked out of you, similar to moments after the best orgasm of your life.


Michele Obama

"When theologians predicted the second coming of Christ, they were talking about Heart_Throb_83" - Abraham Lincoln


Hello there! :)

I hope your sarcasm detecter went off, cause I am absolutely none of the things described above. I am actually just a selfless, caring, passionate, and positive person that is also quite goofy. :)

Six things I could never do without
A Scrunchie
Southwest A-list travel
Bath salts
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why so many people call me brown sugar.
On a typical Friday night I am
Taking a bubble-bath while watching The Notebook
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...that I'm really a 16 year old british girl trapped inside an adorable boys body.
You should message me if
you want to come with me to the land of romance, where every girl's fantasies can come true.

And also if you like romantic unicorn rides along the beach, marathon foot massages, and watching The Notebook.

Important note:
I respond to every message I get. Don't be shy! :)

I am also a real person. I am actually looking for dates. ha ha.
The two of us