34O'Fallon, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hello hello. Looking to meet new people and make new friends. I'd like to find someone relationship worthy, but a relationship isn't something you can force. At least maybe I'll have met someone new to add to brain trust meetings. I'm always down for a partner in crime.
What I’m doing with my life
Living, working, and stuff and things
I’m really good at
Procrastination. Snuggling. Cooking. Cards against humanity.
The first things people usually notice about me
My height and gratuitous use of sarcasm. Like just a really crazy amount sarcasm. Like really really really sarcastic. I'm just incredibly playful and love joking around. I can be serious too, especially if you tell me I need to be. Sarcasm doesn't translate well through text though.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't read. I appreciate those that do but my brain goes to mush. I could read a paragraph but not remember a single word I read right when I was done. Never opened a textbook in college aside from assignments and still graduated the top of my class. Go me! I'm so thankful for laptops and PowerPoint slides. I do read stuff online if you count reddit. Yes I know what time the narhwhal bacons. The question is do you?

Tv: Futurama. Scrubs. Game of thrones. Family guy. Walking dead. The Brink. Modern marvels. Anything on history when it's actually showing history. How it's made. Cosmos. Comedy central.

Movies: Supertroopers. Beerfest. Anything broken lizard. Fifth element. Tansformers. Wow just way too many to name. I'll watch pretty much anything. Especially if there is a good woman I can snuggle up with involved. Usually comedies are my favorite.

Music: I hate country. It should be banned to avoid inbreeding. Mainly I listen rock and alternative. Classical once in awhile. Oldies are always a good choice too.

Food: really can't go wrong with mexican. I love burgers and steaks too. And yes I like them well done. Deal with it! :p
Six things I could never do without

-boobs (come on boobs are awesome regardless of size. Okay well the female form is just amazing in general but boobs just came to mind first. )


-video games (it's my go-to escape and forget life thing. Better than turning to booze right!?)

-a car (or some other method to allow the freedom of going wherever I want)

-information technology (it's my career field so it's my bread and butter and I mean come on how hasn't computers made your life better every single day?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The zombie apocalypse. Are you prepared? I'm not. When should I start preparing? I'm worried I'll start hoarding food water and ammunition way too late.

Beyond that....where I want to be later in life. Ive always wanted a porsche, but after test driving a bmw I'm kind of conflicted. Ahh what its like to dream. Where I want to be in my career.

Warm weather and the ability to get out and shed all the winter hibernation padding. Come on spring! Anyone want to get sweaty with me in a non mind in the gutter way? We can go be goofy at a park and hit a tennis ball or kick a soccer ball. Notice I didnt say play, cause I'm kinda retarded when it comes to sports :p
On a typical Friday night I am
Mostly crying in the corner wishing my cat would love me. Could be lazy and couch potatoing it. Out to eat. Cutting the grass so I don't have to the rest of the weekend. Doing the macarena. (Thats still a thing right?)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am completely and utterly ashamed of what I've done for a Klondike bar.

I've never had my ass licked by a fat man in an over coat. -bonus points for getting the reference.

I'm far from vanilla.
You should message me if
You feel like messaging me!!! ...Or massaging me. I won't turn down a free massage

I'm always down for a good conversation and even crappy ones sometimes. Don't be afraid to message me. I don't bite....hard

You can appreciate a goofy smartass that offers protection from zombies, or at the least someone you can run faster than so you can escape.

You speak sarcasm (not all the time though, it gets old not being able to have a serious conversation time to time)
The two of us