heyimatoaster
28 Philadelphia, United States
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heyimatoaster
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What I’m doing with my life
Currently I am a part-time lion tamer, full-time badass...at least I was in my dream last night... in truth I am an accountant and small business owner. I wrapped up my CPA and I realized that I am on the fast track to becoming Lester Burnham. Not good. Like Lester I've decided to have a midlife (or quarter-life in my case) crisis. After 7 years of living in a cubical. I decided that the 9-5 grind is not how I want to spend my life. So I left it behind, and decided to use my experience to a startup a nontraditional firm in the Fishtown area.
I’m really good at
Sarcasm, consuming exorbitant amounts of ice-cream, making people laugh, listening, talking, sleeping, breathing, reading, driving, watching movies, fixing things that aren’t broken, fixing things that are broken, being a fool, sneezing loudly, arguing, laughing at inappropriate times, movie references, making playlists, faking Russian accents, hugs, patience, impulsiveness, drinking, admitting when I’m wrong, boasting when I’m right, dancing like everyone’s watching.
The first things people usually notice about me
My tiny ears.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books – Sci-fi is my favorite genre. My favorite authors are Robert Heinlein, Michael Crichton, Phil K Dick, and Author C Clark. Recently I started reading the Jack Reacher series, although not sci-fi I still CANNOT put it down. Sometimes I open a bottle of wine, take off my pants, and read the IRC updates. You can never read updates of the Internal Revenue Code with pants on, rule of acquisition number 195.

Movies – My taste in movies is broad. I watch a lot of bad movies. I don’t think my friends have ever forgiven me for making them watch Jack Frost 2 or Vampire’s Kiss. Needless to say, I'm usually not the one picking out the movies on a Sunday afternoon...but I like good movies too, I swear. Anything dark, sci-fi, action, or Jackie Chan, is a movie I can get behind. To give you an idea some of my favorites in no particular order are - The Rear Window, Police Story, The Fifth Element, Garden State, Desperado, Ferris Buller's Day Off, North by Northwest, Top Gun, Naked Gun, and 21 Jump Street.

Music – itunes tells me that I have 83.25GB of music that’s 27.5 days...and it's all country...not.

Food – Dessert. Yes, all the dessert!
The six things I could never do without
1.Hands
2.Family & Friends
3.Dr. Pepper
4.Random adventures
5.Pointless car rides
6.Dark chocolate
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend most of my time thinking about sitting on the beach of a tropical island, drinking rum out of a coconuts while being fanned by large palm leaves. Sometimes I even think about the deep questions in life, did Han shoot first? Am I a Cylon? What is Soylent Green? Who killed Laura Palmer? Who’s the better captain? The number 42. Can Ryan really love Taylor as much as he loved Marissa? Is my metachlorian count high? Is the Smoking Man really Mulder’s father? Why don't sudo commands work on people? Do I have to pay the troll toll?
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking for trouble.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can eat an entire box of Oreos in one sitting, Double Stuff Oreos.
I know I’m a bad ass lion tamer, but I like hugs. Shhh don’t tell the lions, they can smell weakness.
You should message me if
*First and foremost, You don’t take yourself seriously and can unashamedly laugh at everything. Life's too short. If you can’t laugh at yourself, me, all the crazy stuff in the world, and don’t get/like sarcasm then I will be the only one laughing on our date.

* Also first and foremost, You are confident.

*You aren't looking for a pen pal. Pen pals can be fun, like in 5th grade. Not so much on a dating site.
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