40 Oklahoma City, United States
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My self-summary
Last updated: June 2016

The Basics. I'm a silly human being, which is to say I like to laugh and usually don't take myself too seriously. But I'm also intelligent, sensitive, grounded, and sincere. I make things with my hands, usually out of wood. Free time is infinitely more important to me than a lavish lifestyle. I like to listen, observe, ask questions. I'm 39, frequently mistaken for 30. I'm generally a vegan, consistently a life-long learner, and oftentimes a walking contradiction. I'm better one-on-one than I am in a group. At home or when the weather is nice I enjoy being out of clothes. According to Myers Briggs personality theory I am an INFP (Healer/Idealist); according to Enneagram personality theory I am a Type 9 (Peacemaker). I don't know if those sorts of theories actually hold water, but I find them interesting to think about! Besides quality time with people I care about, my favorite things are music, movies, books, and exploration.

Lifestyle. I'm in favor of minimalism, a DIY ethic, re-purposing found items, and non-consumption when possible. I like the idea of having a smaller space and fewer things and thus not having to work so hard and so long to acquire and maintain them. It doesn't make sense to me to own a grand home that sits unused most of the day because I'm out working to try to pay for it.

Love. I'm a very devoted person, a very loyal person, a very caring person. I find active ways to serve the people who are important to me. I believe in being genuine, sincere, trusting, open, truthful. I am quite empathic, a wonderful listener, and exceedingly patient. I want to follow as much as I want to lead and I don't have to be right. Mostly all I want is quality time, intimacy, and friendship with the person I am sharing my life with. Is this what it means to love someone? If so, I love well. If not, I'm open to learning better...

Food. I've followed a primarily vegan diet since the beginning of 2004. Every once in a while I add a few things back in on an experimental basis, if I feel good about where those things come from and how they were raised. I've never been a "Food Nazi" about any of this and am not the type to be preachy or cast judgment on what other people are choosing to eat. However, since food is such a big part of life, a partner who follows a similar regimen would certainly make the practicalities of day to day life a lot easier! Still, you never know...

Belief. I grew up in a fundamentalist, evangelical environment. It affected me in both good and bad ways. Looking back, I never really fit in. Today my world is not as black and white as it once was. I don't feel I have many answers; only questions. At the moment I have stepped away from that background for the most part but do not harbor animosity about it.

Sex.I took to heart much of what I was taught when I was young, including beliefs about sexuality and faithfulness: not sleeping around; not playing around; waiting for marriage. As a result I spent my life putting sex and intimacy on the back burner. Today I reject that position on physical intimacy and am more in touch with my sexuality. Now I want to play, learn, nurture, experience, investigate, experiment, connect, practice, give, receive, enjoy!

Choices.Due to my capacity to see things from multiple points of view and relate to all sides of an argument it can be hard for me to make a decision or take a particular stance on an issue. This is both a strength and a weakness. I consider myself a generalist and I rarely speak in absolutes. There are so many things to know and so little capacity to know them all, how can one ever really speak in concrete, definitive terms?! There is so much potential for being proven wrong!

Career. I'm both competent and artistic. I'm good at working with my hands and I generally like to work alone. I fix things. I build things. I help people make their work and living spaces better. I've got more work than I can keep up with, so I guess that's a good thing; but it could be turned into a much more efficient, effective operation and I like the idea of a partner who could be a good balance to me in that context.

Likes (in a partner). Kind eyes. An easy smile. Honesty. Happiness. Playfulness. Sensuality. Long, dark hair. Height. Natural features. Direct communication (the practice of saying what you mean rather than "hinting" at it or "beating around the bush" and just hoping or assuming that I'll get it; there's a good chance I won't). Someone I can play and sing music with and for.

Dislikes (in general). Smoking. Sports (football, basketball, baseball, golf). News media. Country music. Commercials. Politics. Competition. Violence. Alcohol. Debate. Seafood. "Guy" guys. Fashion. Disturbing content. Plastic surgery for the sake of vanity.
What I’m doing with my life
Helping friends build things they want and need.

Learning about things that are of interest to me at any given time.

Trying not to lose my sense of wonder, curiosity, and innocence. I don't want to be jaded, hardened, cynical. I agree with the sentiment that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Sometimes even pain can be a welcome friend because it signifies that my heart is still able to feel; that it hasn't shut down after all.
I’m really good at
Explaining complex things in simple terms (once I understand them). Making things. Asking questions. Figuring things out. People watching. Playing music. Procrastinating.
The first things people usually notice about me
Based on the feedback I've heard over the years? My energy. My eyes. My lips. My smile. Sometimes my butt.
The six things I could never do without
I would rather not do without:
-Quality connections with a few, close friends
-A sense of humor
-My hearing
-A laptop
-Frankincense essential oil
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Beliefs, sex, food, hobbies, woodworking, personality theory, relationships, travel, storytelling, downsizing, creativity, and life choices.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading a book, surfing the web, watching a movie, riding a bike, being naked, eating a meal, taking photos, sleeping, hanging out with a friend. I would prefer to be spending it with a partner.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In person, once I know you, I'm an open book. Ask me anything you want. I'll tell you. I'll even put you in touch with the closest people in my life, including exes, and let them talk openly about me, if you want. In the game of seeking a life partner I believe in transparency and authenticity.
You should message me if
Attraction is very subjective and oftentimes unexpected and indefinable. For every quality I describe below there may be a hundred counter examples that really work for me. Still, the following are some known quantities that have done it for me in the past:

-Something about what I've said here resonates with you.
-You are not put off by a guy who is still searching, learning, becoming.
-You lean more toward hippy/bohemian than fashionista/diva.
-Smiling, laughing, and playfulness come easily to you.
-You are comfortable in and like your body.
-You lean towards more natural in all its ramifications.
-You're OK with not trying to keep up with the Joneses.
-You are not a smoker, a heavy drinker, or a user of hard drugs.
-You are a curious person who has not stopped asking questions.
-You are attracted to thin guys.
-You love being in nature.
-You practice open, honest, non-violent communication.
-You are creative (musician, photographer, artist, writer, dancer, maker, hacker, bodyworker, empath, lifelong weirdo, etc).
-You are drawn to simplicity and minimalism.
-You are hungry to pursue connection with a partner.