SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. Please permit me to make your acquaintance in so informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent need to meet a dependable and trust wordy partner. This request may seem strange and unsolicited but I will crave your indulgence and pray that you view it seriously.
My name is. ANDY of the Democratic Republic of Queens. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us to get to know you better and perhaps go on a date. Please send a message to indicate if you will assist me in this manner.
We are looking forward to doing business with you and solicit your confidentiality in this transaction.
Best Regards, ANDY
Casablanca, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Silence of the Lambs, Amadeus, John Wick
Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, House MD, Law & Order (Jerry Orbach years only), The Sopranos, Parts Unknown, Bar Rescue
Titus Andronicus, Bruce Springsteen, Frank Turner, Nirvana, Diarrhea Planet, Gaslight Anthem, Japandroids, LCD Soundsystem, Queens of the Stoneage, River City Extension, Talking Heads, The Weakerthans
I will eat literally anything.
Beer. The great equalizer. Gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold ones taste the same to us all.
Sports, especially the New York Mets and New Jersey Devils. Being a part of a close knit community of screaming lunatics who get psychotically irate about losing is cathartic and makes me feel normal.
Social Media. Without it, this site wouldn't exist and I would never be lucky enough to meet you!
The Subway. Walking from Astoria to Chelsea would take way too long without it.
The Gigantic and Gaudy Belt That I'm Carrying In My Profile Photo. Without it, no one would know that I'm a champion.