Will be visiting Chicago for lgbt conference soon ... So if you're from Chicago and you like what you see here, please send a message!
Some of the match "questions" I answered years ago so try not to assume that the answer is set in stone. I don't have time to go back and reanswer 1000+ questions. I already spent a lotta time writing up things here that many people won't read, but I figure the best matches will take the time to. Sometimes I'm quiet, but when I'm not, I have a hell of a lot to say. I am a good listener and value reciprocity.
Sometimes androgynous. Sometimes femme. Recently went veg. I like zines, punk shows, sleeping, and tea houses. Night owl. Young professional, but not a yuppie. My friends love me and endearingly make fun of me for my unapologetic feminism and love of 90s music.
I <3 transwomen. I <3 inclusivity. Intersectionality too, but I realize that saying that can sound like the insincere spouting of a wonderful concept turned buzzword.
Not quite an introvert or extrovert.... It's a balance/ 50-50. Healer type, advocate, over analytical, imaginative, a sense of humor that never ceases to surprise. I moved to a rural university environment from the cities I used to live in because I'd rather be happy than cool. And I'm happier when there's no traffic, a lower cost of living, a sense of community, lots of nature, you get the drift. But it limits my options for people to date as a queer woman. And I do miss being near a thriving arts scene. I could spend all day in art galleries.
I'm pretty patient with those I care about. When I feel extroverted, it's because I'm getting energy from being around people I enjoy who are respectful to me and their environments.
Given the right context- Ie I'm not getting sexually harassed, I can be very laid back and open minded. People tell me they feel like they can tell me almost anything and feel safe doing so.
Still, I wonder if I should simply pick my nose at the next man who harasses me given the right context. I refuse to deal with it passively or quietly. I find no personal shame in desexualizing and humanizing myself when all I want so desperately is to be able to be in the in the community and still be treated respectfully without having to have a male escorting me every where I go. I am tired of being forced to go through this pain.
If I could, I'd tell all the hundreds of men that have harassed or otherwise attempted to make me feel small: Truly, it is not my problem if you have no self control when you feel threatened by a powerful and beautiful presence but are so out of touch with your feelings that you don't even realize this. Women's power and beauty are not here FOR you. These qualities just happen to be existing in the vicinity of you by some happy (or in her case, not so happy) accident. Yet Someone taught you to destroy anything or tear down anyone you find beautiful who cannot be yours to possess, taught you to force your "compliments" or your whatever you can down her throat, because it's only your reality that matters to you. Unlearn this. Stop poisoning lives because you are insecure. Don't tell us to smile and then try to justify your sexual attacks on us if we do. Don't expect us to be fleshy mannequins specially placed to entertain you in the Truman show of your unexamined life.
In conclusion, *snape pause.. You know the one* I will delete any message you send that is idiotic without a second thought. :)
If it seems like I think a lot about this shit, it's because I have no choice. It is my reality almost daily, weekly if I'm lucky.
If you want to send me a message trying to silence me by saying that I "shouldn't" be expressing feelings like this on here, or saying that I'm wasting my time, my response other than to delete the message is to ask you to read this book, even though you probably won't:
Because the fact is that by being as authentic and true to myself as possible, I attract people to my life who can relate and will be supportive. So many of us have been traumatized and there are ample opportunities for healing when you have the right people in your life. The people who will send rude messages will make themselves known quickly and will get weeded out just as quickly. That is the exact opposite of wasting my time, and it has brought me much joy both in real life and on Internet forums.
Starting a new job
Planning a grand adventure
going to a lot of basement shows
Not putting up with bullshit
Typing extraordinarily fast
Helping my friends write essays about the evils of transphobia
Taking good pictures
Going public places, including out to eat, alone (and also with people :P)
Cold weather? White, skinny, usually no make up, RBF.
Movies: Everything is Illuminated, Brick, Wayne's World
Shitbox: Game of Thrones only. (okay, and Firefly).
Music: Deftones, Hanson (yes, for real!) , Beirut, Imogen Heap, Regina Spektor, The Honey Trees, Incubus, M83, Tori Amos, Birthday Massacre, abandoned pools, smashing pumpkins, filter
NOMS: basil and cilantro. teeeaaaa. copious amts of garlic
Other: Andrea Gibson.
Leggings as pants. Fuck your judgmentssss (and ew if you are some skeezy guy thinking of messaging me about that. Go away)
... I guess I could technically do without these things, but I wouldn't want to.
I'm glad I tried New York City but I'm not sure I'd do it again. Never say never, though.
I think the purpose of life is striving for balance.
-you're not sleazy and misogynistic (example: I received a message from "gon2fly" who said he thought it was funny that I hated men but still posted "beautiful sexxy photos" for them to look at. His misogyny blinded him to the fact that 1. Standing up for myself and women/ non binary conforming people is not the same as hating men. I intervene when men openly hate / disrespect them, and that is totally justified. 2. I don't write on here anywhere that I'm looking for men, so no, these photos are not here for men. But I still allow straight men to see my profile because I've gotten some kind and supportive messages from straight men and I'm not going to let some assholes close me off to that 3. He told me that I just needed to accept the "reality" of evolution and that's how men are. Really? Then why have I met so many decent men that don't talk like this guy?) Don't be like him, please. I'll just delete the message and have spent more of my short time on earth being talked down to again. Fuck that.
-you want to move to New Zealand some day, or perhaps Spain or the Netherlands
-you dont think reverse racism exists. Because it doesn't.