What convenient half-truths and slight exaggerations can I use to make total strangers on the internet like me? I'd like to think that employing trickery to meet my future partner in crime / soul-bff would be unnecessary and counter-productive, so I'll keep it simple.
I'm not a morning person. Frisbees confound me. I like cooking shows, but I don't know why. Total strangers have taken to calling me "Slim" in the past. I have trouble controlling my facial expressions (despite practicing in front of a mirror), but I've been told I have a great poker face. If you spend much time around me you'll find that my wry, sarcastic demeanor conceals a more thoughtful side. Also, I'm not as smart as I look.
I think it's important to try to find the humor in life and not take yourself too seriously, but I also place a very high value on loyalty and dependability in myself and others. When I'm not working or doing one-armed pushups, I like learning new things, being outdoors, exercising, discussing various topics, contingency planning for highly unlikely scenarios, and appreciating the simple things in life - like cliches in dating profiles.
I'm a bit a geek at times, although hopefully one of the more subtle, charming variety. I enjoy discovering new music (then feeling superior about it) and watching movies of all genres, both foreign and domestic. Netflix has given up trying to provide recommendations for me, apparently. I'm really just intrigued by pop culture in general.
My goal in this is to find someone I respect and can be totally genuine and comfortable with, free of all this pretense. Someone to tell me I'm pretty, even when I don't feel like it. ;-)
It's important that we're able to have fun, regardless of what we are doing, whether exploring an exotic locale or cooking a meal together and making fun of reality TV (or something equally mundane). If we're not able to sit together in the same room without being bored or uncomfortable, there's a problem. And I will scream...when you least expect it.
I don't want to put a tired list of requirements on here, but since everyone else is:
I'm not interested in manipulators, serial daters, or serial killers, although if I had to choose, I would pick the former two. ...Although if you're really any good at what you do, I guess I won't know until it's too late...
Also, if you're just going to send me a message that says, "hey sexy" or "nice rack", then don't bother. I've heard it all before. :-)
(Well, some woman did yell, "YOU'RE HOT" at me from a moving car that one time in a Best Buy parking lot....)
Apparently someone saw fit to plagiarize portions of my profile. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I guess I must be doing something right.
Planning next road trip
Getting lost on mountains.
I've been attempting to organize the stray cats in the neighborhood into a band of Dickensian pickpockets, but so far my efforts have proved fruitless.
Currently trying to learn Spanish, so I can spice up my road rage induced outbursts.
Just got back from a solo volunteer trip to Costa Rica. Riding 8+ buses a day gave me a renewed appreciation for driving.
Traveled to Barbados for a week as well. That one was just vacation time...
I'm at my most productive while having a good soak in a warm bath of amphetamine-laced bath salts, surrounded by scented candles and potpourri sachets while the sweet, sweet strains of Phil Collins softly caress my tattered soul.
Coffee also helps.
Generally it would seem that people find me quite funny and agreeable, but who knows what others really think? Scientologists, that's who.
Stoker, Moonrise Kingdom, Best in Show, Gattaca, Snatch, Departures, Pan's Labyrinth, Napoleon Dynamite, Inglorious Bastards, Children of Men, anything Miyazaki
I enjoy finding relatively obscure movies that are actually good, then acting superior about it.
TV: Black Books, Archer, Mitchell and Webb, The Walking Dead, Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, The Office, Always Sunny, Futurama, American Dad, Portlandia, Firefly, BSG, My Strange Addiction, Dr. Who...
I need to pick up on my reading lately:
Kurt Vonnegut, The Windup Bird Chronicles, Me Talk Pretty One Day, The Road, CS Lewis, Catch 22, Bukowski, HP Lovecraft, Invisible Monsters, Bossypants, Golden Compass series, Good Omens, tech books
The Smiths, Bob Dylan, Hendrix, The Black Keys, other bands named after inanimate objects.
Central heating and air
Steampunk puppet shows.
Why I am this way.
Whether the internet is beneficial or destroying human civilization as we know it.
The future, universal truths.
Magnets and how they work.
You have ever used a frozen burrito as a weapon.
You're a bit nerdy, or at least have an inexplicable nerd fetish.
Perhaps you recently purchased some "nerd" glasses at Urban Outfitters.
You happen to be someone with a decent sense of humor and a sincere personality.
You want to talk about something other than college football.