*5/17/13- New chapter for the book! I was unaware that there is some unspoken rule about how long I have to reply to a message before one is allowed to do a complete 180 & become a petulant child:
Day 1- "you are gorgeous. What are you looking for?"
Day 2- "are you destined to hang out with cats the rest of your life...cause your profile screams 'future cat lady.' Seriously, get over yourself, it will be doing the world a favor....we will still be here when you climb down from your cloud"
OkCupid: I came for the dating, I stayed for the hilarity
*10/13/12-Among the latest messages that have amused me to no end: "There is no way someone like you would be on a site like this. You have to be a dude."
"A bit pretentious are we?"
Be careful what you send me gentlemen- you may just find your message in my work-in-progress book: "Finding Mr. 'I'll Suck 1000 D*cks If You Can Prove You Are Actually The Girl In This Profile' & Other Tales of An Online Dater"
As stated by an OkCupid user: "You are going to be lonely for a long time. An attitude adjustment is in order!"
Out of all the messages that I have received, this is my favorite. Firstly, I will never be lonely as I have people around me who understand that after life has given me tragedy after tragedy, I am still able to find the lighter side of life. Secondly, if "adjusting my attitude" involves conforming to some preconceived notion of how a "proper" girl should act, then I would rather remain single for the rest of my life.
So perhaps I should preface with a disclaimer of sorts: if you take offense easily, if you are one who sits high on your horse passing judgement on others, then please do us both a favor and stop here.
And now gentlemen, the profile that launched the wrath of one uptight prude:
Contrary to popular belief, I am not a geisha girl who love you long time. So if this is what you think you will be getting, move along.
With that said, I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.... : )
Right now I'm looking for simplicity. Something that could potentially turn into something great. I will be honest and say that I am wary of people as a rule and it may take some time to warm up. However, I am definitely worth the wait if I do say so myself... : )
*Update* I just realized my profile says that I am "Online now!" All the time. I can assure you I am NOT online all day & can only assume that the mobile version keeps me online all the time. My life has not yet reached the point that I am the creepy, desperate chick sitting at the computer all day... : )
I would like to comment on the following observations by compiling a list titled,
"Do I really need to be topless in a picture?: Reasons For & Against"
1. Yes: This is a shoot for Guys Gone Wild
No: This is OkCupid
2. Yes: You are at the beach
No: You are anywhere else
3. Yes: You have a kick-ass tattoo you want to display
No: You hope that by starting this trend girls will feel compelled to do the same
4. Yes: You are David Beckham
No: You are anyone else
While pictures can serve as representation of who we are, I can honestly say that if you feel you must bolster your image by posing shirtless, it is very difficult for me to take you seriously. Especially so if the picture is from the neck down and your hand is tucked into your pants. This tactic may work on some ladies, namely the type who base opinions solely on physical attributes, but for me, less is more. And by that I do NOT mean less clothing rather that some things are better left to the imagination. For me, it is the journey of discovery, finding out the new aspects of a partner
Being a nerd/geek
Having a sense of humor
Books: I love to read! Mainly non-fiction. Elie Wiesel, Hermann Hesse, Chuck Palahnuik, Greek mythology, Chaucer, Dante, everything David Sedaris-had the opportunity to meet him! He gave me a cupcake..
*Reread Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" for the 5th time- still as powerful as it was the first time I read it
*Just a quick note- I see that there is a phenomenon known as 50 Shades of Grey that has swept the female world. After reading a few short excerpts, I can say that there is nothing redeeming about the book. Awful prose, subpar sexual content. DH Lawrence was a pioneer in the field of erotic writing and could actually write beautifully. This is what is wrong with today's society..
Music: Pearl Jam, Bob Marley, Sublime, Tribe Called Quest, Beastie Boys, Mumford & Sons, DMB, Damien Rice, Vivaldi, Beethoven, Mozart, pretty much anything that's actually good. Dislike much of today's music
TV: Family Guy, Simpsons, History Channel- everything else is crap Netflix: TED talks, American Horror Story
Strongly dislike "reality" shows
Food: I'm a "foodie" only in the sense that I will literally eat anything put in front of me.
Now I'm starting to wonder why OkCupid would think to "match" me with someone who prefers to date within their own race? I may be the very definition of a "twinkie" (that would be yellow on the outside, white on the inside for those of you who aren't familiar with completely inappropriate racism), but I still look pretty Asian....
And why do I need to send a "nice" message? What if I want to send a filthy one? OkCupid is pretty damn pushy
I also think about:
Nah not really- but i will watch anything with him in it!
I thought of another! I once played a round of mini-golf in 5" stilettos-and won. I was playing my son. Sometimes I can get competitive.... : )
I was a band geek all through school. Butt ugly polyester uniform & all! I played the flute... : ). Don't let that fool you though- I was also captain of the soccer team.
The only acceptable pick up line is "Hi, my name is . What's yours?"
Do not wear anything with the #1 on it, unless you happen to be Tony Fernandez or Lance Johnson
The words "dirt cheap" and "sushi" do not belong in the same sentence- or rather, if they are in the same sentence, that sentence also often includes "intestinal parasite".
Partner is a noun, not a verb
Unless you are a cyclist or have recently lost a bet, take off the tight black Lycra biking shorts and burn them
No matter how greasy the pizza is, you can't blot it w/ a paper towel and expect to be taken seriously.
If you are uncertain how much cologne is enough, you are not allowed to use cologne.
A man should avoid using the phrase "assume the position" on the first date
You are not on the team that plays in your city. They are not "we", their wins are not "ours"
Some women, particularly models, call one another "girls", but you can't
The response "you are" is no longer acceptable as a response for the question "what's happening?"
A man over the age of 30 should not use the word "dawg" except to refer to a creature with four legs and a leash around its neck
Pretending you are confused in the elevator and pushing the womans nipple instead of the floor button will not get you laid.
High-fiving another man at a restaurant or bar could very well be the reason you're still single
Just a few of the "rules" of the game! haha
If you have made it this far into this mini-saga, I think you owe it to yourself to stop & say hi. Otherwise, the last hour of your life might seem a waste.... : )
If the words "Horny" or "Fuck" are in your user name, or the # 69 is used and you're NOT >insert applicable age here< (I've been on this site for so long & I'm too lazy to keep changing the age to the correct one), please do not message me. To each his/her own- just not for me