26 Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
I don’t laugh at your jokes, instead I walk away. I never leave empty handed, but I do have a large collection of peoples left shoes. I enjoy basking in others misery and revel in taking the credit. My walls are black, I have no furniture and my windows are boarded up. I often spend my nights in candle light rocking back and forth on the floor while singing “kumbaya my lord…. Kumbaya.”

Now, down to the boring details...My name is Parker and I'm a USC graduate with a B.S. in Business Administration with an emphasis in entrepreneurship. People say that I'm sarcastic and spontaneous...I won't ague that, though it's up to interpretation. I also enjoy witty banter and will make a fool out of myself all for the purpose to make another laugh. Heck, I would do almost anything for the right woman. I'm an old fashion kind of guy who finds that women should be treated with the utmost respect. Thus, if you're girlfriend material then expect to be treated like a goddess.

As to things I enjoy; I work-out on a daily basis to keep myself in the best shape possible and I hope to find someone with the similar interest (a workout buddy – HARAH!). Although I love to get out and stay active I find that some of the best times of my life were spent indoors with family and friends. Take, for instance, the fact that I am a huge movie buff and am constantly referred to as a “Little Girl” with my love for chick-flicks. Ooooo...I'm also a master Monopoly player that has yet to be beaten (any challenge is at your own peril). I also enjoy cooking...almost as much as I enjoy eating(my favorite pass-time)!

I am seeking a mature, witty, intellectually stimulating, independent, god-fearing woman who has her own set of standards and is not afraid to stand up for them. I will be shocked if I even get one response...haha!

As an important tid-bit, bear in mind that I do not smoke nor drink.
What I’m doing with my life
Ask the FBI, NSA, or LAPD I’m sure one of them has an idea.
I’m really good at
Professional exotic dancing
The six things I could never do without
1. Having an individually wrapped chocolate placed on my pillow every morning
2. Yoyos
3. Chattering teeth
4. Disposable friends
5. Chea pets
6. The Flux Capacitor
You should message me if
1. you could tell me how to properly tie a noose
2. you are willing to give up the secret recipe for the worlds best chocolate chip cookies.
3. or if, by some miraculous event, you somehow match the criteria