howlightgetsin
31 Lansing, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
howlightgetsin
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm a sexually, physically, emotionally, intellectually confident woman. If that is your thing, I'd love to hear from you. If not, please look elsewhere rather than waste the time to send a moralistic diatribe.

I have eclectic attractions; whereas I say I am bisexual, the truth, as it usually is, is much more complex. If you want to discuss what I mean in depth, then feel free to ask me. Diversity is truly the spice of life. Though I love basil and oregano too.
What I’m doing with my life
I am in a psychology PhD program studying adolescent sexual and reproductive health from a community-based, ecological perspective. For that reason, and because I value myself and my vagina, I take HIV and STI prevention very seriously.

Usually, when I say I am in a psychology program, people assume I am going to be a therapist. I am not. I prefer to do research. I prefer to do prevention as opposed to intervention.

I'm also being active. I'm involved in mixed martial arts, which I consider to be an extremely cathartic activity. It is my therapy, recreation, and philosophical guide combined in one. I love to seek out opportunities to be active. I especially love to hike, play soccer, tennis, and racquetball, lift weights, and go white water rafting.

I'm defying conventions and analyzing social constructs. They typically go hand in hand.
I’m really good at
I'm athletic. I catch on quickly to almost every sport. I do mixed martial arts, grew up playing soccer and tennis, and love to be active. I'm also very good at water-tubing fights. My size is deceptive.
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, they likely notice I am short. As I am vain, I hope that they notice I have "great guns."

If talking with me, people tend to notice that I speak rather formally and ask a lot of questions. Doing so is a professional hazard, I guess.

Guys often notice that I have a cool car -'07 mustang- and that I like to play/watch sports. Women tend to focus on how I defy typical butch/femme distinctions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Favorite authors include: Toni Morrison, Daniel Quinn, Octavia Butler, Jeannette Winterson, and Anne Rice. I also really like true crime novels. My favorite books outside of those written by the aforementioned authors include: Girl Interrupted, the Awakening, the Scarlet letter, Zami, Stone Butch Blues, Wuthering Heights, Age of Innocence, Jane Eyre, Ethan Frome, Promises I can Keep, After Silence, Sybil, When Rabbit Howls, the God Delusion, God is Not Great, and Fried Green Tomatoes

Music: Melissa Etheridge, Ani, U2, Lifehouse, the Beatles, Garbage, Tori Amos, Ember Swift, Alanis Morissette, Alix olsen, Tracy Chapman, Postal Service, Death Cab, Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, Metallica, Mellisa Ferrick, They Might Be Giants, Bob Marley, Alex Parks, Regina Spektor, Alicia Keys, Matchbox 20, Pink, Evanesence, Norah Jones, Adele, Lady Gaga, Owl City, city and colour, mumford and sons

Movies: Rent, Tipping the Velvet, Bound, Fingersmith, But I am a Cheerleader, Shortbus, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Boy Culture, Mysterious Skin, Beautiful Boxer, Manic, Best in Show, The LOTR trilogy, the Godfather trilogy, Braveheart, Gladiator, Dopamine, and pretty much anything with attractive lead actors/actresses because I get celebrity crushes easily.

TV shows: Tudors, L Word, Queer as Folk, Dexter, Criminal Minds, Californication, X-files, Bad Girls, Arrested Development, Weeds, Firefly, Spartacus, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, New Normal, Glee, Battle Star Gallactica, SVU, Game of Thrones, Dr Who, and NFL games (I watch every weekend when in season)

Food: Good coffee! I like Mexican food, Spanish tapas, and will never turn down a good veggie pizza. I eat fairly healthfully and am vegetarian. My favorite junk food is baked jalapeno poppers. I love just about any type of berry and am very thankful when spring comes and they are once again in season.
The six things I could never do without
I believe humans are adaptable and we can learn to do without most anything which is not required for survival.

I think a more relevant question for a dating site, and one in which I am more comfortable answering would be: "What are the six things you would not want in a relationship?"
1) A lack of communication, particularly intellectually stimulating conversation
2) a lackluster sex life, meaning one in which sex is infrequent, restricted, or vanilla
3) Not to have children and work towards building a family together
4) Stagnation, complacency, a lack of appreciation
5) A lack of desire or willingness to grow as individuals or a couple
6) Inequitable distribution of giving/receiving in terms of love, finances, emotional support, time/energy, intellectual contribution, and sex
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How qualitative data are sexy and I am the creator of that sexiness. And similarly, how to create better sexiness and analyze it more rigorously.

What I want to be when I grow up...I'm still up in the air, though I'm 5 years into a graduate program.

Puritanical, religious ideology and how it impinges upon personal freedom and enjoyment. How heterosexist values permeate absolutely everything.

A new move I learned at karate this week.

Which movies to move to the top of my Netflix queue.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There are a lot of people on this site. I abide by a quick and dirty data reduction strategy (to use statistical lingo). I'm sure others do this as well, but may be reticent to admit it. Here goes.

I sort by match %...then look at people who may be attractive in their photo. I look at the rest of the photos prior to reading the information. I then read the summary if there is more than 1 photo in which I find the person attractive. If still interested after reading, then I look at the questions, looking particularly at the ones I am most interested in.

There you have it. It may not be kind. It may filter out a lot of interesting people. But it is a great time saver.

Caveat: No, I do not buy that the matching percentage means that I will be a good match with someone. I also recognize how atrocious the survey questions are on this site. I am, after all, a researcher and can recognize poorly constructed survey items when I see them. But, I also know that people with whom I match very low are unlikely to be a good match for me.
You should message me if
** you are looking for queer/dog friendly housing. I'm trying to rent a small room with a shared bathroom ($400 mo) near Old Town (approximately .5 miles from Golden Harvest). I have wooden floors, a large deck with a fire pit, a sizable kitchen, tv/wii/internet, and a large fenced yard. All breeds of dog are allowed as long as house-trained and they get along with my cattle dog (Rhett, who is not picky, but is old and going blind). I prefer someone queer who is a non-drinker. Rent is negotiable if you are willing to help with maintenance, lawn care, and/or dog watching.***

You have something witty to say. You like self-confident, intelligent, androgynous women. The bulk of your morals align with my morals and you can carry on an intelligent conversation. You are respectful and do so in good taste. You want to dole out compliments; we all need affirmation.

If interested in something beyond platonic friendship, you are willing to be HIV/STI tested.

You are a non-drinker, not addicted to drugs, and see the value in working towards positive self-improvement via therapy/medication/social support/self help books/etc.

I am an infrequent responder due to the large volume of sexist, presumptuous, misogynistic messages I receive. I get them on a daily basis. I think it has something to do with being listed as bisexual, my answers to the sex/dating questions, and mentioning my vagina in my profile. Do not message me if you cannot treat sexually liberated bisexual women respectfully.
More