31Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
Texas > Oklahoma > Highland Park

The sewer people stole my skateboard.

Gary Busey told me I have a face like Death. 👌

INFP ya'll.
What I’m doing with my life
I've done a bunch of odd/weird/hilarious jobs in my 9 years in LA but I've finally gotten a dream job working for a company that does post-production on movies and tv shows I actually watch and pay money for, so I'm pretty happy.

my office has a Slack channel devoted to stories I've told in the workplace so I'm basically trying to find a way to make money from that.
I’m really good at
Drunkenly recreating Denis Lavant's sweet dance moves
The first things people usually notice about me
"You're from Texas? But you don't have an accent."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
suttree, tree of smoke, bolano, saunders
boogie nights, duh
twin peaks, duh
sheer mag, mitski, bowie, neil young
you know already, tacos
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What song would be played at my funeral...duh, "Right Down the Line" by Gerry Rafferty. That jam RULES.

What I'd do with a million dollars...duh, pay Jimmy Buffet to fart in my dad's face.

how no one picked Don Draper from the refrigerator.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking a beer!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs. I watched a prostitute stab a clown. Our basketball hoop was a ribcage. A ribcage! Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish. I’ve seen a crackhead breastfeeding a rat. A homeless man cooked a Hot Pocket on the third rail of the G train. I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police dog! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom. I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it. I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire. A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard. The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time. I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. They were very drunk!
You should message me if
You're funny.

You're not a Scientologist.
The two of us