hurricanedamage
40 Chicago, United States
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hurricanedamage
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My self-summary
"Terrible eyesight, but great vision"

I like guns and feminism.

To that effect, I'm a complicated straight shooter who tends to be verbose and highly secretive.

I write online dating profiles for a living.

Myers Briggs says I'm an asshole.

I care deeply, and I dare creepily.

Wily, like a coyote; I'm vulgar and I speak colloquially, but I read and write a lot. Call me politely aggressive, or aggressively polite. I am a walking contradiction, unless I'm lying down.

Although a little rough around the edges, age has rounded my corners just a little bit. If you fall on me, you're more likely to get a bruise, than a cut. More on bruises later.

For enjoyment, I like trying to find things... yard sales, scavenger hunts, that exact right word, record shopping, buried pirate treasure, it doesn't really matter what... I crave the search.

I am editing my first novel, and finishing my second. I feel like a douche putting this in my profile. So, I guess write me if you like douches. However, I don't have any bathroom selfies or pictures of myself on a harley or anything like that... sorry.

A non-gentle Gentleman with Southern-style Manners, I'm a 4th generation native of this town. I'm also a frantic typist. What this means in regards to this site: lots of typos, and that I'll respond to anyone who is engaging and intelligent. However, don't mistake my kindness and propensity to chat with strangers for any sort of desperation.

A fan of camping and campiness.

IRL > online personas.

Typically, I'm drawn to brilliantly bookish/weird/awkward, creative women who possess introspective and introverted tendencies. Unfortunate haircuts not required, but greatly appreciated. Take that as you will.

TL;DR?

I'm not for everybody. I know it, am ok with it, and sometimes even revel in it. That said, I am willing, able, and interested in making real and honest connections.
What I’m doing with my life
Container gardening. Thinking about shipping container houses, containing clutter and chaos. Also: living outside the box.
I’m really good at
...putting the "social" back in antisocial.

...exploring.

...innuendo.

...spontaneity.

Also: topping.

But i'm horrible at small talk. Seriously, really shitty.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Currently: Ridley Walker (because it's weird), Wizards (because it's weird), Sherlock (because it's weird), Crucifix: Dehumanization (because it's hard), and Korean food (because it's delicious).
The six things I could never do without
Tangibles:
(good) Public transit
Nice mid-century furniture
My eastern block gas mask collection
Some little toy soldiers and / or model trains
An ever shrinking, but increasingly impressive record collection
Old zines
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...sustainability, and living within my means.

...the implied scarcity of love, and how we as a race are training ourselves to be terrified of actual human interaction.

...the inevitability of death, and if immortality would ruin our creative drive as a species.

...how to carefully craft my profile to keep squares away.

...among other deep stuffs.

I spend a small modicum of time thinking about how we're basically a society of alcoholics. There's a lot more to do in this amazing city than going out and spending too much to drink while listening to loud, bad music.

Also, why did they get rid of Activity Partners?

That's mostly what I'm looking for: Activity Partners.
On a typical Friday night I am
probably sleeping.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I got 1/2 a blowjob at Obama's victory speech in Grant Park... and I didn't even vote for the man. #ThanksObama!
You should message me if
I find it funny (not haha funny) that people come on here with a list of expectations for someone to fit into, and a list of things that they believe won't work for them. the world is far too immense and random for me to pretend like I've got it all figured out, and I don't tend to trust anyone who believes that they (or their dogmas) have all the answers.

My only hard and fast "rule" for dating is that I don't abide flakiness. Life is just simply too short for that kind of nonsense (most other forms of nonsense are welcome).

Anyhow, write me if you're interested in romance if:

...you are a submissive in the sheets, but a rebel in the streets.

...we are a 69% match.

or if you're interested in friendship and:

...you're building a tiny house, and you want some help.

...you're looking for (low) paid editing work.

or both if:

...banter is in your repertoire.

... you're brave, mature, kind of ridiculous, emotionally present, not flakey or arrogant, and can handle an intense but kind man.

...adversity has become a friend of yours after you wrestled that gator into submission.

...mainstream culture ain't your thang.

... you are an escaped Nexus 6 Replicant (pleasure or combat model), and need a place to hide out for a while.

...you are creative, engaging, and not in a rush; you do not ask people out "just for a quick drink" or on a "coffee date". You don't expect to learn within 5 minutes if there is a connection; those sorts seem to have particular difficulty with connections.

...you like the sound of potentially having me as a slightly strange but loyal friend / companion, and are looking for honest and meaningful exchanges. You are able to build real and lasting friendships / relationships.

...you have passion, desire, drive. You make things and make things happen.

...you are in need of someone to take bizarre pictures of, or with.

...you are Annie Lennox.

This should go without saying, but no bigots and/or libertarians.
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