I'm poly - though typing that word makes my insides hurt a bit. I certainly do not have a problem with it, at all, it just garners the same cringe worthy reaction I get while explaining that I'm an artist or writer who happens to live on the border Bushwick. Everytime people see my work they are like "Oh, I know you said you were an artist, but I didn't know you were an 'artist-artist," as if stating it means I have a gluten allergy, play the ukelele, and collect old cameras at flea markets. Once again, nothing is wrong with any of that shit, but its like there is a "Scenester Clone who lives in Brooklyn" template that's passed around these days - possibly offered by OKCupid for 2.99/month.
I try to think of myself as an independent thinker. Which is unfairly easy thing for me to do, given my transition from the obnoxious art-snob contrarian of my youth. Fun times... fun times. But I always had a natural tendency to be walking contradiction. I'm a talkative introvert who's both an Artist and Jock, a Nerd and a Rebel. You can catch one day in a three piece suit or a jump suit covered with paint (often a mix of the two). I can randomly spit out the lyrics to "Liquid Swords," "Closer," the "Duck Tales" theme song, and even "Maria" from West Side Story... which is mostly Maria a shit-load of times. I'm often the life of the party, while giving the bare minimum of fucks, yet still likes/needs his alone time. Because of this my Keirsey temperament has been all over the place - "Inventor," "Mastermind" and "Architect".... Though it seems a bit P.S.L. basic to let tests define me. I hate simplified questions. You hear me OKCupid? Get your shit together!
Oh, and I curse a shit ton and say uncomfortable truths, yet some how I get along with everyone. I dare you to not like me. I double-dog dare you, motherfucker. But there really is fine line between being fun or generous, and telling everyone how goddamn great everything is. No one likes a kiss ass. It's dishonest and I hate dishonesty - where ever it comes from.
Despite this self summary, which I hope dissuades any card card carrying member of whatever clone army you serve... I'm actually a fun easy going guy. I love dancing my ass off (alone if necessary), listening to and telling great stories, side-spitting conversations about nothing and everything, drinks with good friends and interesting strangers, while eating food full of flavor and traveling any chance I get.
Understanding human nature and predicting the actions of people once I know them (even just slightly). Well, predicting most things actually, especially relating to politics (and yet I'm too cheap to gamble).
I'm good at not burning bridges, cooking things involving meat - melt off the bone meat - and chili that has never seen a tomato. Eventually I'll have to learn how to make a decent side or two.
I seem to be great at getting friends out of trouble - usually by explaining to the cops, or the bartender, or judge, or the gang of musclehead Bikers why my genius level friends are morons. Stupid-assed smart motherfuckers.
TV: The Wire, Archer, Breaking Bad, Fargo, The Simpsons, The Walking Dead, Oz, Cheers, Broad City, Adventure Time, Legit, Portlandia, The Americans, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Bob's Burger, Dexter, and most of Lost before they made me want to shoot myself for wasting so many hours of my life.
Books and Graphic Novels: The Road, From Hell, World War Z, L.O.T.R., Lolita, Gone Girl, Colossus of New York, Snow Crash, A Clockwork Orange, Things Fall Apart, Fight Club, The Passage, House of Leaves, No Country for Old Men, The Sandman Series, Metamorphosis, American Gods and, I'm embarrassed to say, I did enjoy reading the Hunger Games ... yeah, well, go fuck yourself.
Movies: Unforgiven, Big Trouble in little China, Boyhood, Only Lovers Left Alive, Akira, Blade Runner, Sling Blade, Black Dynamite, The Godfather II, Brokeback Mountain, Let the Right One In, Showgirls (the best comedy ever if not Troll 2), A Streetcar Named Desire, Alien and Aliens, Idiocracy, LOTR: Two Towers, Taxi Driver, The Lost Boys, Children of Men, City of God, and anything Monty Python or Kubrick or P. T. Anderson (no, not that one)
Music: Prince, MF Doom, Eric B. & Rakim, Johnny Cash, NIN, Wu-Tang Clan... Ah fuck it. I quit. Never was a name dropper when it came to music, which is a thing now I guess. When shit is good shit it is fucking good, unless it is popular Country music... sorry, cowgirls.
Food: Bacon and every single manner of delicacy - as long as it doesn't have peas, okra or squash in it. I will pick that shit out like a snotty, little Kindergartner.
and Bodegas... seriously the best thing in the world.
The idea of one day spending a year in a cabin in the woods with a big ol' hairy dog.
Food and politics and some joke to one up my friends.
How awful OKCupid must be for the women here, because while I'm complain about boring profiles, you have to deal with the worst wastes of sperm and egg ever to merge.
Oh and sex - because I'm a man and also (if I haven't said this before) very, cripplingly honest.
Oh yeah, Me and a friend of mine kinda started a small riot in the east village by mistake.
Message me if you are open-minded but not a psycho,
if you are playful yet responsible when it counts,
if you are arty or into some kind of art but are not some pretentious fuck merely looking for a pissing contest,
if you politically aware but not a douchecanoe about it,
if you are intense about something in your life but not uptight when it come to life,
if you prefer evolving ideas over stagnant dogma,
if you are willing to learn something new and teach me something new,
if your answer on OKC states that you have no preference in race but it wasn't merely a ploy to not seem racist ;-P.
if you are independent thinker and not simply a contrarian,
if you can find at least one way you stand out from both the norm and your friends,
and if you are an honest person looking to have a good time and a hard laugh.