If I've sent an unsolicited message to you, and not said otherwise, you can assume that
1.) I think you're a very attractive woman.
2.) I think the two of us could have a lot of fun getting to know each other better.
3.) I'd like to take you out for a drink, a meal, some fun conversation, or some combination thereof.
4.) I'm hoping that you'll take a look at my profile. (Oh, hey, look at that, you're already doing that. Awesome!)
and 5.) I'd enjoy getting a message back from you.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled profile: *****
I'm a funny, compassionate and thoughtful guy. My pants have a tendency to be a bit smarty. I won't claim to be unflappable, but I rate at least "flap-resistant". I'm the kind of guy who knows where his towel is.
As for what I'm looking for... I guess the first word that springs to mind is "range". I want a woman who's comfortable in a lot of different settings, and with whom I can connect on a lot of different levels. Serious current events discussions? Karaoke? Lazy weekend mornings resting up after the night before? Kayaking around Lake Union? Impromptu road trips? I want a little bit of it all, and more. A close second to "range" would be "depth," which you can probably figure out on your own.
Intelligence is definitely a big draw: you should be able to give me a run for my money at Scrabble or other comparable game.
Everyone wants a sense of humor, and in that respect, I'm no different. But I've never found any easy way to measure whether somebody has it or not. If you've developed a humorometer, that's a good sign on a whole lot of levels, and I'm totally available to guinea pig for you.
Someone once said, "Having no baggage is good, but what I really want is someone whose baggage goes with mine." There's some wisdom in that.
I'm hoping for someone who'll at least tolerate my geekish leanings, and who's of a comparable political bent as I am (specifically, on the liberal side of things generally). Then again, viva la difference, right?
Although I'm principally looking for something relatively long-term, I'm not ruling out something shorter-term.
I'm really bad at conveying some of my better qualities without sounding conceited. Which I suppose sounds a bit conceited in and of itself. Which kind of illustrates my point. Which ... I'm going to shut this train of thought down before I alienate you further and/or give myself a headache.
I'm really good at overthinking things... but you probably guessed that already.
I've received a fair amount of compliments on my chest, and my calves, but those are features that aren't usually on display when I first meet people. When I turn around, in addition to my relatively nice butt, you'll also notice that I'm rockin' the bald spot. I don't know how noticeable this is, but I have weirdly colored eyes - there's a ring of golden brown right around the pupils, with grey surrounding it. (The technical term for this is apparently "central heterochromia". The More You Know.)
I've got a little bit of grey in my hair already, too, but I'm hoping the salt-and-pepper look makes me look seasoned. That's right, I totally went there.
Also, I'm not fat, I'm just at the wrong aspect ratio.
An actual exchange I had one night:
Random Drunk Guy on the Street: Are you Canadian?
RDGotS: Why not?
Me: Bad luck.
Movies: The Big Lebowski, Brick, The Fountain, Fight Club, LA Story, The Life of Brian, A Life Less Ordinary, The Prestige, Sneakers, Mallrats, In the Bleak Midwinter (aka The Midwinter's Tale), Brazil, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
Music: The Clash, Catherine Wheel, The Afghan Whigs (and associated Greg Dulli projects), They Might Be Giants, Nick Cave, TMBG, PJ Harvey, Bad Religion, The Dropkick Murphys, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, Florence + The Machine. It's probably fair to say that when it comes to music, I'm very much a child of the 90s.
Food: It's hard to go too wrong with pizza - I'm a bit of a sucker for unconventional toppings. Greek food is good, along with udon, cannoli, and all manner of mushrooms. I'm always interested in investigating new cuisines or things I haven't tried yet, with a few exceptions (sauerkraut and olives tend to be big dislikes - but weirdly, I love olive oil). I'd love to find a Seattle-area location that does custom okonomiyaki like I used to be able to find in Osaka.
TV shows: Doctor Who (both the new and classic series), The Venture Bros., Breaking Bad, Futurama, MST3K, The Daily Show, Rick and Morty, Community (I actually briefly went to college with one of the producers of that last one).
New places to visit, new people I'd like to meet.
The next home improvement project to tackle.
The question, "Can't they take a hint?" Everybody can take hints: the problem is that we are all inclined to take the hints that confirm our existing world-views, and disinclined to take those that challenge them. Forthrightness, specificity, and clarity are therefore hugely important, valuable, and appreciated. And if you find yourself asking "can't they take a hint?" the answer should be "Maybe they can't. I should be clearer."
If you meet Ro-Buddha on the road, deactivate him.
I tried bringing sexy back, but I lost my sexy receipt and could only get sexy store credit.
I feel a little guilty when I walk into a restaurant and get greeted before deciding to go somewhere else - like I've gotten their hopes up or something.
I have a patch of psoriasis on my butt.
Pet peeves include pressing the "Clear/Reset" button whenever I notice that someone has left time on the microwave at work. (And for the record, I'm planning on naming my next pet "Peeve's".)
... you think we're comparably awesome individually, and that we'd be even more so together.
... you have a challenging pub trivia venue you'd like to recommend to me. My regular one closed up shop recently.
... I've messaged you, and you'd like to message back.
... you've been honing your proofreading skills, and wish to point out mistakes hidden in this profile.
... you've got a question you'd like to pose to me.
... you have a compelling reason for messaging me that I haven't anticipated.
... you can explain why more bras aren't front-clasp style. Wouldn't that make it easier for everyone?
... some combination of the above criteria.
Q: What part of NYC is lowest in cholesterol?