54 Melbourne, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I have arrived at a brilliant conclusion. After reading endless "profiles" with women desiring " truthfulness", I have decided to come clean and write an honest "profile" describing myself, my desires and my expectations. Besides, my other "profile" describing how a woman couldn't possibly go wrong with me because I am so wonderful, mesmerizing, and she would be hypnotized by my natural animal magnetism produced nothing...absolutely nothing. It did however produce solicitations from MEN on here. That is both unbelievable, and could be thought of as a sad testament to women on here. I like to think that you are all just too wise, and Worldly. So here it goes; I am a liar. I can't stop, and I don't want to! I lie if the truth is better. I have accepted it, and you will too. Do I cheat? No. Regardless of what my 6 wives say, I call it "Alternative flesh management". So, am I a "womanizer"? Yes! I will charm the clothes right off of you a face to face situation. Speaking of clothes falling off, if you are wearing Black undergarments, DO NOT EVEN consider undressing in my presence! Black is such common place on the prairie, and I will be EXTREMELY insulted. Tie dye, plaid, or paisley are the ONLY acceptable colors and patterns ( This is what you ladies call a "Deal Breaker". Anyways, drugs? Do I do them? You'd better believe it! They are my only vice...when I am not drunk, and I am drunk most of the day. Now, on to the topic of sex. Who the Hell could possibly want anything to do with that disgusting act? It has been my experience that most women smell bad, and who wants that thought walking through their mind all day? You ladies are looking for your "Best Friend"? Someone whom is waiting for you after you finally park your broomstick at the end of a long day? Someone that accepts you for whom you are? That's me! I want to be your very best friend! Like a dog that sleeps on the floor next to your bed! Like an emotional tampon where I lay on the rug ( next to your bed), and you pour out all your feelings, bizarre and twisted thoughts, and all of the circles and drama around you! I want to be YOUR man! The man that listens and puts up with all of your mood swings, and general bull poop when no one else will! YOUR man! The man you question about the motives, and behaviors of the men you are screwing ( having sex with, truly disgusting). These are just a few of the things I will do for you. If there are other ways that I may powder your ass, please let me know. Now, a few of MY desires since everything can't be all about you, can it? I just love the" I am an Independent women" routine! The" I am woman, hear me roar"! I love it! I want to REALLY hear you roar when you pick up the check. No, it's ok, go ahead and pay for it all; you've earned it. Another thing that I absolutely flip over; please wake me up between the hours of 2 and 5 am to discuss anything you favorite is the dilemma of my having left the seat up. You REALLY get bonus points if it is during the week, and I have to be at work at 6am...the longer you keep me up, the more I approve of it. I guess this is all I want to say about myself for the moment, I don't have to let all the kittens out of the basket do I?

First Date
Something's about making a connection
What I’m doing with my life
Working towards my goals
I’m really good at
Reading people
The first things people usually notice about me
Exactly that...I do get noticed
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
History, Psychology, spiritual, "out of the box"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I have a very creative and imaginative mind...I bounce around with many thoughts
On a typical Friday night I am
I am at work...until 12, and yes it can suck
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have an alter ego...whos nickname is "Paisley".
You should message me if
You consider yourself a REAL Woman