I bleed New Jersey. Southern hospitality makes me sick and the Left Coast isn't fast enough.
I'm starting to develop an intolerance to beards. But i will never tire of gnarly Lemmy Kilmeister style mutton chops.
Veganism is a deal-breaker.
Drugs are a deal-breaker
I probably looked at your profile if you have a mohawk regardless of where you live. Size does matter.
Zombies are boring. Everybody knows alien brain slugs are the future. (would you like hat?)
Actual responses from actual guys- not paid actors!
(and completely INNAPPROPRIATE. Just because we're online doesn't make any of this more acceptable.)
"You dont have to worry about my size I am prtty hunkkkkkkk and its acting up since I open your profile:)"
"Wow, you are so hot;) im visiting DC tomorrow, would you like to come over to my place for hang out and some fun tomorrow night?;)love your boobs;) "
"Have you ever worn the adidas samba shoes? They look cute on girls " (Note: Not Exactly Innappropriate But More Like 'really, Dude?')
"Oh my goodness! I just lost all of today's workout gains from sitting here sweating profusely and looking at your profile pictures. I hope you're happy, you are the sole cause behind the genocide of thousands of my unborn offspring. I think you at least owe me a protein shake or something. "
"Well don't you seem like a basket of dead roses? And what did cupcakes ever do to you? They are just sweet muffins. Who doesn't like muffins? And if you want to escape, just get on your vespa and ride out of town. "
"Can your pussy do the dog?"
Not so literary: jan svankmajer's alice; blue velvet; pan's labrynth; wir kinder zum banhof zoo; brave litttle toaster; factotum; pulp fiction; house of 1000 corpses; any documentary about black holes or cephalopods.
Finally Have A Tv, But I'm Only Watching Twin Peaks And Bob's Burgers.
Auditory: tom waits; the cramps; rev horton heat; sleater-kinney; xray spex; the adicts; mojo nixon; the replacements; babes in toyland; dead milkmen; wanda jackson; The raincoats; bratmobile; black lips; sonic youth; 2ma; detroit cobras (Fuck Off, I Don't Care That They're A Cover Band); Screaming Females; minutemen
Edible: black coffee; dark beer; steak tartar; tomatoes; Fermented things; funky cheeses; gin; crusty crunchy levain raised bread; red sauce; pork roll, Smoked fish, club N bitters; lentils; bagels; Persimmons; olive oiL; Yuengling!
Silly OkCupid, Restaurant people don't have weekends off.
A tattooed punk rock asshole.
Your have a well curated list of hobbies/interests that make you appear either ADD or batshit.