im_bitchmaster
32 Chapel Hill, United States
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im_bitchmaster
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My self-summary
I am here for the bitches. If you are a bitch, you are compelled to message me immediately. If you lack a Y chromosome, get to messaging me right now. I am exactly what every woman needs in her life, so if you don't message me, you can't possibly be female. I don't care if you're not into dudes, you still need me. I can tell you're scoffing at this, but denial isn't a pretty thing. Get over yourself and just message me your number so we can go out and I can make you buy me a lot of booze. I will get drunk, hit on every other woman in the bar, buying them drinks with your money, then drag you back to my apartment where we will copulate. I will definitely get off. I could care less if you do. Female orgasm is a myth anyway. Why the hell are you still reading this? Gimme your digits!

What I’m doing with my life
I am coming over to your apartment, being an asshole to your roommates, eating all your food, and locking your pets in another room because I hate animals.
I’m really good at
Making women feel terrible about themselves.
The first things people usually notice about me
How goddamn fly I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fuck reading.
The six things I could never do without
Bitches
Bitches
Bitches
Gin
Bitches
Tecate
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to make women dependent on me, and how else to psychologically torture them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Like any night, I am drunk, off my meds, screaming obscenities at innocent people for perceived slights, and picking fights with homeless people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I will probably give you an STD. There's a new one every week.
You should message me if
There is no "if". Message me now, woman.

Or if you like it when anal happens without warning.
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