im_bitchmaster
33Chapel Hill, United States
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im_bitchmaster
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My self-summary
I am here for the bitches. If you are a bitch, you are compelled to message me immediately. If you lack a Y chromosome, get to messaging me right now. I am exactly what every woman needs in her life, so if you don't message me, you can't possibly be female. I don't care if you're not into dudes, you still need me. I can tell you're scoffing at this, but denial isn't a pretty thing. Get over yourself and just message me your number so we can go out and I can make you buy me a lot of booze. I will get drunk, hit on every other woman in the bar, buying them drinks with your money, then drag you back to my apartment where we will copulate. I will definitely get off. I could care less if you do. Female orgasm is a myth anyway. Why the hell are you still reading this? Gimme your digits!

What I’m doing with my life
I am coming over to your apartment, being an asshole to your roommates, eating all your food, and locking your pets in another room because I hate animals.
I’m really good at
Making women feel terrible about themselves.
The first things people usually notice about me
How goddamn fly I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fuck reading.
Six things I could never do without
Bitches
Bitches
Bitches
Gin
Bitches
Tecate
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to make women dependent on me, and how else to psychologically torture them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Like any night, I am drunk, off my meds, screaming obscenities at innocent people for perceived slights, and picking fights with homeless people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I will probably give you an STD. There's a new one every week.
You should message me if
There is no "if". Message me now, woman.

Or if you like it when anal happens without warning.
More
The two of us
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Dating
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Ethics
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Lifestyle
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Other
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Sex
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Religion