34Dayton, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I have no idea what I'm looking for at this point, but dating is terrible and I kind of think most people in general are awful. (Not you, of course. I'm sure you're wonderful.)

I think I'm just tired of going on dates that feel like really aggressive job interviews.

And ffs, don't ask "What are you looking for?" in the first ten minutes of a date. If I knew the answer to that, I probably wouldn't be sitting at this shitty coffee shop playing twenty questions with a stranger I met on the internet.
What I’m doing with my life
Silently chanting "what the fuck" to myself multiple times a day.

Spending several hours of every day brainstorming a new career that involves being self-employed and not having to wake up before noon.
I’m really good at
Seeming way more interesting on the internet than I actually am.
(No, really. Trust me.)

Also: being hilarious, verbally assaulting strangers, creating elaborate fantasy worlds in my head, obsessing about things I have no control over, answering asinine questions on dating websites, sleeping.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm hilarious. Or awkward. Or both.

I imagine at some point people notice that I am a person. More specifically, a lady person.

Cause tits.

Also cause I get nervous and scream "I'M A LADY!" on occasion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love reading but have trouble making myself read entire books nowadays as I have the attention span of a goldfish.
That being said, I read three books in as many days a few weeks ago and felt like a goddamned rocket surgeon for 72 hours.

Hands-down favorite movie: Aliens.
Horror movies overall. Shitty sci-fi is a major weakness (Trancers, Cyborg 2, etc). Rom-coms and chick flicks are generally a no. (This does not, however, mean you should message me with some shitty misogynistic rant about chick flicks. Do not want.)

I don't have cable, so I'm usually unaware of or significantly behind on current shows. The Walking Dead generally being the only exception.

Music is all over the place. Atmosphere, Sage Francis, Ghost, Prince, Panic! at the Disco, Lana Del Rey, She Wants Revenge, Phantogram.

I like all the foods. I do not discriminate against foods. Sushi and Italian are probably my faves.
Six things I could never do without
Newt (my cat).
Macaroni & cheese.

These are not in any particular order.

(If your answer to this question is overly analytical or pretentious, I probably dislike you.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When I can take my pants off.

Who the first person was to decide we needed to mow grass and rake leaves and otherwise perfectly manicure our lawns.
On a typical Friday night I am
Vacillating between a desperate need to go out for the night and my body and brain's demands to hide in my bed.
You should message me if
... you can form an entire sentence using proper spelling and punctuation.
... you have strong feels about things which you think I may also have strong feels about.
... you know better than to mention your dick in casual conversation. (Serious conversations only.)
... you're looking for a new partner in your never-ending quest to conquer the world of competitive ice dancing.
... you can hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis.

Do not message me if you voted for you know who...
Yes. Voldemort.
The two of us