30Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
We are here to love, fuck, kiss and cry. We are here to drink whiskey. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so fucking well that Death will tremble to take us.

So you boys can keep your virgins, give me the hot, witty, worldly, woman in high heels with an ass that forgot to get old.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a gentleman. Not much of a scholar, but I dabble. I can't promise you'll love me, but I promise I won't bore you.

I travel whenever I get the opportunity, almost obsessively. There's hardly anything quite as liberating. Also it gives me time to be at airports. Which I love, because it's the only place I can drink at 8am without being judged.

Sidebar:If people winked half as much in real life as they did in texts this world would be a very creepy place.
What I’m doing with my life
I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good.

There is an inverse relationship between swag and credit score. Never understood those guys who drink $200 bottles in nightclubs, but work at Footlocker. That bottle just cost you 28 hours of looking like a fucking barcode.
I’m really good at
Giving off the wrong impressions, or the right ones, as the case may be, which is not the case.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love women. I have all their albums.
Six things I could never do without
I won't give you six, however, I will tell you that there are only three things in life that are certain. 1. Death, 2. Taxes, 3. The Wu Tang Clan aint nothin to **** with
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I have a lot to say on the matter of relationships, sexism and accidental cunnilingus. Not necessarily together and certainly not in that order.
On a typical Friday night I am
There should never be anything typical about Friday nights. The shortest distance between two points is often unbearable.

But usually I'll be doing whatever seems interesting at the time. I'm on a highway to hell. At this point it's go big or go home. Because if we don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
You should message me if
You laughed at least once reading this and if the head on your shoulders isn't just pretty. I'll take a girl with a sharp wit. Wits never sag.
The two of us