30 Bournemouth, United Kingdom
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
It seems the vast majority of profiles on here go to lengths to show how much fun the person writing is. I would like to dispel straight away any such notions you might have of me. I rarely leave the house when the sun is shining, I hate the things you like and I don't really care for animals or children (I mean, I recognise their right to exist and to avoid suffering and all, it's just I don't really need them existing near me.) I have neither read nor seen Game of Thrones and most likely never will.

I am not, however, a fussy eater.

There probably is more to me...I hope...

Too many people (It seems...) put too much weight in to whether a person has depth or not. What does that even mean? You could have someone who is superficially a very arrogant, sarcastic, funny person when first met but when you get to know them a little better they reveal themselves to have a deep insecurity and desire for approval from others. Then when you've known them a little longer you see that they have a 'remarkable inner resilience' that sustains them through even the hardest of times and blah blah blah... There you have three layers that would apparently constitute 'depth' but its fundamentally boring and covers about as much area as a test-tube. I much prefer to think of myself as being more like a puddle than a test-tube, all spread out there on the surface with little to nothing underneath but covering quite a few bases and capable of creating something rather pretty when reflecting the right kind of light.

Don't remember what type I got on the Briggs-Meyer test but I think it was the one that finds personality tests amusing but fundamentally meaningless. It was paradoxically accurate.
What I’m doing with my life
Don't ask

Just moved back to Bournemouth after an excellent decade or so of living in Brighton and, most recently, London. Glad to be back here on the brink of Spring when everything starts to feel alive again. The trouble is that most of my friends have long since moved away and I no longer know where the Cool Places to hang out are any more. If anyone can give me any pointers on where that might be it would be most appreciated.
I’m really good at
Catching things. Sadly I'm lousy at throwing and running so have never been able to pursue a vocation catching objects professionally.
The first things people usually notice about me
Most of my friends would say they don't remember first noticing me. I was just there one day and never left. Like a freckle.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Twin Peaks was a good show...

I find I get along best with people who can at least appreciate a bit of Prince and Abba and I'm pretty sure I still agree with my 16 year old self in believing The Birthday Party were the greatest band of all time.

Whilst I consider myself only semi-literate I'm currently reading The American Way of Death by Jessica Mitford and it is *perfect*.

I can enjoy almost any film in the right company (In brief, I probably like most of the same ones you do) but I guess I like sort of campy stuff most of the time e.g. Mommie Dearest and The Bad Seed. I like documentaries best of all.
The six things I could never do without
I could live without them but I really appreciate resealable bags and screws that are magnetised.

Update: Those washing up scourers where you pour dish-liquid in to the handle and it disperses through the sponge as you do the cleaning. I love those. I believe they are conclusive evidence of a benign deity.

Update 2: Packets of butter that have marks every 25g to help with measuring out weights for baking. I hope you can see a pattern emerging here.
I spend a lot of time thinking about

David Bowie

Update: I've kept this part of my profile as it is for a while now and then Leslie Gore and David Bowie went and died within a year of each other. I swear I'm not responsible.

Prince is gone now too. Awful. I dread to think what might happen to Agnetha and the rest of ABBA if I keep them on my profile...
On a typical Friday night I am
Gettin' real sassy.

Drinking. Then crying. Then drinking some more. (Note to self: consider editing this later.)

On two recent Friday nights I have gone to see Sparks and John Waters performing in town. If I one day get to see Ron Swanson/Nick Offerman somewhere I will have completed the trifecta of my all time favourite moustaches. I remain hopeful.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once joined an online dating site.

I spend an absurd amount of my alone time listening to Stephen Fry narrating the Harry Potter series whilst playing solitaire.
You should message me if
If you're looking for a friend to spend long summer evenings sat on the beach listening to music and talking nonsense with. In truth that's what I'm hoping for the most the moment.

You didn't vote Conservative.