Married, for really real. Six (7?) kids, and always looking for more. So keep your doors and windows locked.
I no longer train endangered albino cave newts to perform in the traveling circus. Please stop contacting me about them.
There was a fire.
Better Off Dead, They Live, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, many many many more, see also: John Cusack, Bill Murray, Jack Nicholson, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, etc. etc.
Sifl & Olly, Star Trek TNG, Doctor Who, X-Files, Black Books, Green Wing, Parks & Rec, The IT Crowd, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, Sopranos, Unsolved Mysteries, a shitload of other masterpieces too, etc. etc. etc.
Too much music to list. So here's a list. Tom Waits, The Clash, Electric Light Orchestra, Elvis Perkins, Spoon, The Teeth, Purples, Man Man, Violent Femmes, Elvis Costello, The Cars, Pixies, Glen Hansard, Rilo Kiley, David Bowie, Queen, Beatles, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison, Chrissy Amphlett, Chris Isaak, Mirah, Desaparecidos, Jenny Lewis, Rilo Kiley, all things Tim Kasher, etc. etc. etc. etc.
Kitchen vixen. Cumin, smoked paprika, nutmeg, gluten, cheese. Breakfast food. Bald eagles. Parsley, zucchini, carnitas, curry, cinnamon. Your blood. Butter. Pets. Your mother's butt.
Earthbound! Tetris, Oblivion, Skyrim, Link's Awakening, Fallout 3, Fable 2 (shhh), really anything from Lionhead, Diddy Kong Racing, Donkey Kong Country 2, Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time, Dr. Mario, Secret of Mana, Illusion of Gaia, Starfox, all the Sims, Super Smash Bros., Mario Paint, Mario 64, Super Mario World, Aerobiz, and The Lawnmower Man. So many more. I'm very pale.
In no particular order, Patton Oswalt, Doug Benson, Mitch Hedberg, Eugene Mirman, Kumail Nanjiani, Ron Funches, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Zach Galifianakis, Reggie Watts, Nick Offerman, Amy Poehler, Aziz Ansari, Brian Posehn, Paul F. Tompkins, David Cross, Donald Glover, Judah Friedlander, Craig Robinson, Jonah Ray, Louis C.K., Ricky Gervais, John Oliver, Katt Williams, whatever. These are comedians.
They're watching you, clap clap!
They see your evvvv-eryyyy moooove.