35 Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
Rust belt bred.
Left thinking/handed.
Sometimes bearded, always bespectacled.
Fiercely loyal.
Vulgar/acerbic wit.
Black sheep.
Introvert with social skills.
Metal, all of it.
What I’m doing with my life
In the "who has the most disgusting story" contest I'm guaranteed to take home 1st, 2nd, 3rd places as well as honorable mention.
I’m really good at
Fuck words.


Avoiding sunlight.

Eating my weight in pizza

Saying I'm going to ride my bike more. Then not ride my bike more.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm at least half a foot taller than you.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like my movies dark, heavy, and hard on the brain.

I like my music dark, heavy, and hard on the ears.

Books: I get mildy aroused flipping through the pages of a weighty well-made hardcover book consisting of very offbeat fiction or sometimes political non-fictiony stuff.

Food: I go pretty heavy on the veg front. Every once and while though I'm prone to binges only an 8 year old and/or pregnant woman would make.
The six things I could never do without
1) nail clippers
2) loose leaf tea
3) Elizabeth Warren
4) the google
5) a nice, heavy comforter
6) butts
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Remember when Disney would hide dicks on their cover art and slip dirty messages in their flicks? That was pretty fucking cool.
On a typical Friday night I am
spittin' an' cussin'
You should message me if
You're equal parts mischievous and fucking extraordinary.

You want to stay up to some stupid hour on a porch/patio/balcony some place, talking about insane shit, while punk and metal records hum in the background. Then get up late and eat the grossest pile of brunch your waistband will tolerate.