ironicphrase
26 Houston, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
ironicphrase
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Writing about myself is awkward. But I guess I'm pretty cool and sometimes people laugh at my jokes. How's that for confidence and self promotion?!!?! On the real though, I like to consider myself a good friend to have and a fun person to hang out with. But I also like to consider thin crust pizza healthy because there's less bread so who knows...
I WAS ONCE TOLD THAT I LIVE MY LIFE IN CAPSLOCK WHICH IS AN EXTREMELY APT DESCRIPTION OF MY EXISTENCE.
What I’m doing with my life
Went to Trinity University and got a degree that did nothing for me, and have found myself working as an HR Coordinator/ Recruiter for a tiny marketing firm. It's a kick ass job and it's something I devote a lot of my time effort and energy to.

I am attempting to embrace this whole "being an adult" thing- though I'm pretty sure that I will always be an immature little shit.
But did just get my own health insurance, so it's safe to say that my adulthood is a raging success!
I’m really good at
Saying stupid things that don't really make sense but will maybe hopefully make you laugh?
Talking about how much I like cats.
Doing things at the last minute.
Complimenting strangers.
Making noises to fill silent moments.
Wearing fake blood to any possible event in which it could even mildly be considered appropriate.
Life and stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes (I can only assume this is due to the fact that their lifeless emptiness creates a window into the deepest, dankest crevices of one's own personal hell)
Quite often (usually) the fact that I am doing something supremely stupid.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A comprehensive list of these things is next to impossible so here's the stuff I can think of at the moment.

Books: JOHN DIES AT THE END, the other bits of magic spewed out by David Wong, Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn books (working on the rest now), everything Neil Gaiman, The Giver, Ella Enchanted, A Song of Ice and Fire, Harry Potter (duh), and trashy paranormal romance. Among many others....

Mooooovies: The United States of Leland, Idiocracy, Brick, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Meaning of Life, Life of Brian, all the Miyazaki movies, Paprika, Grind, American Psycho, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, things with Amy Poehler and/or Tina Fey

SHOWS: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (!), ATTACK ON TITAN, THE STATE, Game of Thrones, FMA: Brotherhood, Highschool of the Dead, The IT Crowd, The League, Blue Mountain State, COLBERT REPORT (I did my senior comm capstone on this), Soul Eater, Ouran Highschool Host Club, lots of other Anime, Buffy, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, the Mindy Project, DOCTOR WHO, other things.

Music: Likes include; Andrew Bird, OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW, He's My Brother She's My Sister, Okkervil River, Caught a Ghost, BRAND NEW, Dr. Dog, jj, Peter Bjorn & John, Seeed, TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS, STATE RADIO, DISPATCH, YACHT, The Faint, The Kills, The xx, many many more. Anything that gives me that feeling in my chest and sets off the goosebumps.

I LEIK FOOD A LOT I LEIK INDIAN FOOD, CHINESE FOOD, THAI FOOD, BLEEDING COW MEATS, DELICIOUS CANDIES, KEY LIME PIE, MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE, FOOD IS YOMMY

Sour Haribo Gold-Bears. They are my lifeblood.

I keep trying to cull this list, but it just gets longer every time I reread it....
The six things I could never do without
1. moooooozik
2. my family/friends
3. cell phone. I have an ungodly addiction to being connected to people. (not human centipede style i promise)
4. cats
5. cats
6. carbs (f you Atkins diet)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much I hate war, cats, how society is totally fucked, kittens, how I can help the people I care about, nail polish, the deterioration of our planet, shoes, how cruel people can be, AND HOW MUCH I LOVE DRAGONS.

and Magic the Gathering.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wondering how late I can get away with sleeping in on Saturday morning (ideally afternoon).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a butt.
You should message me if
IF AND ONLY IF
YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, you don't treat women like shit, and you don't use blatantly improper grammar/spelling out of laziness.

If you want to play EDH (the greatest of all MTG formats) and don't mind the fact that I will scream obscenities at you when you fuck my shit up.

Also if the idea of going to Barbarella and dancing hard for 4 hours sounds like a good way to spend a Saturday night. Because dancing is important. So important.

420 or whatever.

P.S. if you're the type of person who thinks women are obligated to respond to you because you took precious time out of your life to string some words together... go away :)
More