36Glasgow, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I am looking for an intelligent mind, a bit of banter and light hearted flirting with a view to more developing.
I'm in the process of separating from my husband. Bit tired of waiting to restart my life so getting a head start on things!

Also I wrote a really detailed profile for a sodding reason. If you can't be bothered to read it but want to ask me the same old tired questions that I've already covered please just don't bother.
If you yourself can't be bothered to fill in your profile; no one's fooled by 'I'll fill this in later' that's just crap code for I can't be arsed and thus I can't be arsed with you. You'd be surprised how a little bit of effort increases your chances of success boys and girls.
Lastly please have a modicum of respect for me and yourself by not expecting me to sleep with you after three messages containing 4 words at least 2 of which is a variation on 'penis' and when I say no to you after this don't be a dick about it! Did you really expect a positive response anyway?!

Other than that, I'm really nice (honest!) and happy to chat and get to know you!
What I’m doing with my life
I am doing many varied and interesting things with my life.

Ok I'm lying. I work in a cinema where I watch my staff serve popcorn and then pick it back up off the floor again. Its possible that someone out there is delusional enough to find this varied and interesting, so if you are any such person please do not contact me as you disgust me.

Actually bollocks to that I love my job! And you wish you had it! :p
I’m really good at
I'm a really good hired killer. My weapons of choice are ninja death stars, medicine balls and big fuck-off guns.

I'm also an excellent cook and enjoy walks in the park and splashing in April showers.
The first things people usually notice about me
My right elbow. Its an attractive elbow. I often leave it on display and dress it up with bows and glitter to bring out its finer features.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I can't read, but if I could I would most definitely read Christopher Brookmyre. My favourite books would include, Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, Orwell's 1984, John Berger's King, Harper Lee's To kill a mockingbird, Nabokov's Lolita, Suskind's Perfume, Nick Johnstone's A head full of blue, Tom Baker's The boy who kicked pigs, Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The little prince and anything by the Marquis de Sade.
My secret favourite book would be Little Women.

As an ex-film student I have a mini film obsession, I've tried to channel my energies into more worthy pursuits but hey I get sexual fulfilment from those cute little shiny DVDs/ Blu-rays so there. Too many to name! Everything from Film Noir, to German Expressionism to 60's British Kitchen Sink dramas to Surreal indie to the latest block buster.

I love music, especially stuff that's angry or slitty wristy, or just plain beautifully sad. Faith No More are my favourite band and in my head still together! (Which is now actually true- therefore the logical conclusion is I am a genie who can make my will reality. So that's pretty fucking awesome!). Mike Patton is my religion.

TV I am a Browncoat at heart and Joss Whedon is my homie yo! Walking Dead, AHS, Californication all that type of jazz a mild obsession with RT News and a guilty love of America's Next Top Model. Though the ones without Tyra are crap, who the fuck is Rita Ora anyway?!
Six things I could never do without
I spent many years hidding out in the wilderness of Cornwell a couple years back. This experience taught me how to survive without the help of anything let alone six things.
However I do really like products from LUSH mmmm bubble new and hurried move to Glasgow has found me with only a shower. If you're local and are willing to let me borrow your bath for an hour or so I'd appreciate it!
and Walking Dead that programme rocks! God, Zombies are cool... have you got your Zombie survival plan? I have biatch!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the meaning of and point of it.
Love, the meaning of and point of it.
Green things, the meaning of and point of them.
Trees (I like them...alot).
More green things.
My nails, which I carefully cultivate...ready to strike!
On a typical Friday night I am
Curled up in a ball being beaten by big burley men 'cos I owe them gambling money. Or failing that I'm in an S&M club being beaten by big burley men in gimp masks, cos I miss my regular friday night beating by other big burley men.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a fondness for blood. No seriously I do. If you let me bite you I'll love you for life.

(and I have the dirty dancing soundtrack on my spotify- I will not apologise for this!)
You should message me if
A- Your not going to be mean to me or you are but you know in the *right* way...
B- You want me to bite you, fine or you can bite me if you want!
C- You actually bothered to get to the end of this profile.
D- Your not a complete tosser.
E- Your a geek I love geek boys (& girls)!
F- Your funny.
G- You wanna.
H- The voices tell you to.
I- All the 'Yours' instead of You're made you shudder a bit but you could live with it. Standards are great, Nazi's suck!
The two of us