1. What are you doing on this site?
Looking for loooooooooove.
2. No, but like why are you online dating?
Why are YOU online dating????? DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME, BRAH.
Okay, perhaps I overreacted. I'm just looking to cast a wider net. I'm single and I'd like to meet interesting people to date, so why not try this ol' World Wide Web that I've been hearing so much about?
4. So, what do you like to do?
I like watching movies, reading, listening to music, going out with friends, having fun, etc. I never know how to answer this without sounding completely LAME. I like feeding off the souls of infants. MWAHAHAHA.
5. You feed off the souls of infants????
That was a joke.
6. What's your favorite color?
7. Wanna fuck? ;)
Hmmm, no. Well, maybe. You know what? Yes. Yes, I do.
8. wats up wit u?
nmu? o rly? lol, thats cray. ttyl. #yolo #swag #killyourself
9. How did you graduate college at 20???
No one ever asks this. This was clearly inserted in here as a clumsy way to brag about skipping the second grade. How transparent! Jesus, Tracy...
10. You're weird.
That's not a question, you twat! But, yes. I am.
...probably that I'm loudly telling a stupid joke. And that I'm black. And short.
I'm noticing on here that people call me "gorgeous" a lot. Not pretty, not beautiful, not hot, not cute, but "gorgeous." I'm not really sure what that means, but it's a thing.
I'm also THAT person. You know, the one who actually read the book to the movie. Usually after I saw the movie, though.
Movies: The Fifth Element is my favorite movie of all time. Everything else defies being listed, there's way too many. Let's just discuss movies for the first ten years we get to know each other. I also watch bad movies on purpose and with great delight. I love movies.
Shows: Parks And Rec, The Office, True Blood, Girls, Mad Men, United States Of Tara, Downton Abbey, SNL, Daria, Whitest Kids U' Know, Archer, Bob's Burgers, Arrested Development, Portlandia, The IT Crowd, Louie, Shameless, Breaking Bad, My Strange Addiction, Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, Orange is The New Black, Oz, House of Cards, House of Lies, Masters of Sex, Nurse Jackie, The Affair, Web Therapy
Music: Prince, Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Tyler the Creator, Vitalic, The Antlers, Björk, Fiona Apple, Prince, Owen Pallett, Sons Of An Illustrious Father, The Harmonica Lewinskies, Prince, Me'Shell Ndegéocello, Radiohead, Tears For Fears, Bat For Lashes, Beck, Tame Impala, Saul Williams, Prince, NIN, Arctic Monkeys, The XX, Prince, Rubblebucket, Joanna Newsom, Massive Attack, Yelle, Pixies, Queen, Calvin Harris, Prince, Outkast, The Beach Boys, Fever Ray, The Beatles, The Cure, Nirvana, Prince, Isaac Hayes, mc chris, Bill Withers, Eminem, Prince, No Doubt, The B-52's, UNKLE, Twin Shadow, Metronomy, Tom Vek
...Did I mention I like Prince?
Food: Whatever it is, put some cheese on it.*
*That's hyperbole, there are several things in this world that cheese should not taint itself by associating with.
2. My consciousness
3. My iPod
4. My laptop
5. Baby animals!!!
6. Raspberry gingerale
who would screw somebody just to get a drink around here.
the Disney Channel original movie "Smart House".
what if I were a wolf.
I don't like Flo from those Progressive commercials.
I cried while watching Snakes on a Plane one time.
I root for Amy when I watch Gone Girl.
I have anxiety about most forms of communication: phone calls, texting, instant messaging, skyping, carrier pigeon...
Basically, I'm more interesting in person.
Sometimes I go back and read some of my old writing and I'm like, damn, that was really clever of me, even though to everyone else I'm totally modest about my work.
I unironically read and enjoyed Archie comics for several years despite the fact that there were only about 6 plots that ever happened. I can talk about Archie and his friends for hours.
Also all the stuff on my tumblr - http://vectorsvalenced.tumblr.com/
You're also approximately 75% more likely to get a response if you use my name. I like my name.
If your first question is "420 friendly?" you probably are waaaaaaaay too into weed to date me. I don't care one way or the other. Personally, I don't find it fun so if you're entertaining visions of smoke rings delicately seeping out of the corners of my mouth, no. That's not likely.
I'm also not looking to "smash" total strangers. Have you heard of gonorrhea? It's supposed to be pretty awful.
And lastly, "hey what's up" was covered in my FAQ. If that's all you have to say, keep on trucking.