j00bz
36 Ashburn, United States
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j00bz
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My self-summary
I'm a machine that turns coffee, bourbon, and bacon into wit, shenanigans, and the occasional profanity.

I'm married and polyamorous. My wife is l0lakitten, and she's my love and my best friend. She's 100% on board with me forming my own relationships on my own terms, and I support her doing the same. We've been poly for four years now. She's got an amazing life partner we live with she's been with for about three years (Dritano on here) and a boyfriend (not on OKC); I've got a partner I'm seeing whom I'm really excited about (jenji__ on here).

I'm a nerd. I crank out software for a living. I fancy myself a photographer (I have some of my work in the photos section, if you're curious). I read lots of non-fiction. I quote Firefly randomly. I dress in garb for Renn Faire every year (what's better than dressing like a pirate, drinking beer, and people watching?)

My wife likes to say I'm dapper as fuck. I wear vests. I wear wingtips. I'm more fashion aware/conscious than a straight man should be.

I'm sex-positive and a feminist who believes in female empowerment and informed consent. I marvel at the shit-awful ways fellow members of the United Fraternity of the Brotherhood of the Y-Chromosome treat women, here and in the world. Regardless of anything, you'll never have me treat you that way - I am not entitled to your body, time, or validation, and I don't view you as property or a conquest.

I'm athletic and outdoorsy. I Crossfit. I used to run competitively. I found my truest self in a small mountain town where upon moving in, they issue you a kayak and a large dog. Standard fare in that town was driving half-a-mile to work and then running 5k on your lunch break, or driving a $500 car with a $5000 mountain bike on the roof. I like being in the sun and getting dirty.

I love to cook. Food is the medium through which I show love, and that's an avenue of expression for my paternal/protector/provider soul, no doubt. I love music and art, but I'm not terribly talented at either. I'm generally in awe of the creativity others master that I'm just not capable of.

Other details that may shed some light into my personality, I'm libertarian, I'm Jewish, I keep to the paleo diet, and I love (and have three) dogs. I'm originally from Texas and I love southern/Americana music (but not mainstream country). If you cringed at the word "Texas", keep in mind that it's telling I left. I sometimes harbor fantasies of moving back, though.

On a completely different note, I'm kinky, sadistic, and Dominant. I firmly believe dominant is not the same thing as controlling, and dominance confers more responsibility than privilege. My relationships involve kink as often as they don't.

People in my life who I love would describe me as kind, direct, intense, loyal, patient, intelligent, and expressive - also way too hard on myself. I do try to hold myself to very high standards, sometimes unreasonably. I endeavor to be the sort of man my dogs believe I am.

I like reading your explanations to questions on here. I've written a lot of them, so if you're interested in some of the finer details of who I am, that's probably a good place to look.
You should message me if
... you want to. I double-dog dare you to write me first.
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