31 Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
The good: I'm a wise-cracking attorney with no student loan debt who's working and saving hard so I can chart my own path in my 30s.

The bad: I work at a large law firm downtown and bill lots of hours. (So committing to carve out the time to spend with someone and making the most of that time are important to me.)

The ugly: Full disclosure, I'm a Republican and a capitalist. No, no, not a mustache-twirling robber baron (a term I don't care for, by the way). More like a... a captain of industry!
What I’m doing with my life
I live in Lincoln Park and practice private equity law at a firm downtown. I also run a (very) small website on the side. It's a work in progress, but my dream is to turn it into something big.

When I'm not working, I like to run outside whenever I get the chance. I read a fair amount, and I almost never set foot on a bus or a train without a book in hand. And sometimes I play a little piano and guitar, for the quality of which I hope my neighbors forgive me. Update: I bought a harmonica for my birthday last week, and now I can sort of play Taps and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. So there's that.

Every so often, I'll pick up a short-term hobby or interest just for a few weeks to see how I like it. Once, it was French. Another time, it was bowling. Right now, it's barbecue. Don't ask why. I don't know. But it was a good choice.
I’m really good at
seeing what you did there. (And making asides in parentheticals.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Atlas Shrugged, the Catcher in the Rye, the Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law, Never Eat Alone, Steve Jobs, Three Felonies a Day (scared the heck out of me). Just finished Willpower and the Power of Habit.

Movies: American Beauty, the Big Lebowski, the Big Short, Casablanca, Casino Royale, the Departed, the Empire Strikes Back, the Godfather, Hook, the Hunger Games (yes, I know they're for teenage girls, shut up), It's a Wonderful Life, Lonesome Dove (except for the water moccasin scene where a fellow Irishman gets it), the Rock, Se7en, V for Vendetta.

Shows: The Americans, the Big Bang Theory, Firefly, Friday Night Lights (Tim Riggins is the Dillon, Texas-equivalent of Christ, discuss), House of Cards, How I Met Your Mother, the League, the Man in the High Castle, Peaky Blinders, Scrubs. I'm currently in that awful Amazon/Netflix Hell in which I can't find a show that I want to watch and get into. Suggestions welcome. (No, seriously, help!)

Music: Arctic Monkeys, The Beatles, Ben Folds, the Black Keys, the Bravery, Death Cab for Cutie, Eric Clapton, Franz Ferdinand, the Fratellis, Good Charlotte, the Killers, the Kooks, Jimmie Eat World, Modest Mouse, the New Rivals, the Offspring, Pink Floyd, the Postal Service, Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Rolling Stones, the Shins, the Strokes.

Food: Barbecue, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, pizza, sushi, Thai.
The six things I could never do without
(1) My iPhone. (His name is Spock.)

(2) My computer(s). (Personal laptop's name is Hal. Work laptop's name is Tron. iPad's name is Deep Thought.)

(3) My car. (Her name is Abigail.)

(4) My library card. (Shut up. Not one. Word.)

(5) Dogs.

(6) Weekends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whether I should name my next dog Aslan or Rikki-Tikki-Tavi.

And about why so many people on dating websites feel the need to post their lists of deal breakers in their profiles. Am I the only one who finds that offputting?
On a typical Friday night I am
cutting out of work a little early. But Fridays aren't really my going-out nights because I get up really early on Saturdays to run by the lake. On Saturday nights, I typically like to try new restaurants.
You should message me if
Actually, you don't need to. I'll message you if you seem interesting and I'd like to get to know you. But you should respond if you'd like to meet up for coffee or brunch sometime.

But of course, you're welcome to message me if you'd like, particularly if you're someone to whom people regularly apply adjectives like "kind," "nice," "positive," and/or "sweet," ideally preceded by the adverb "genuinely." These qualities seem to be getting more rare these days, and I value them pretty highly.

Ultimately, I'm looking to find "the one," but I always try to go into things without any expectations. So no pressure!

What do I offer you? Well, judging by your profiles, most of you care a great deal about my ability to distinguish between and properly use "who" and "whom." You also seem pretty concerned about "you're" and "your." Fortunately, I've got you covered. "Who" and "whom" are merely different inflected forms of the relative personal pronoun. "Who" is in the subjective case and properly introduces a relative clause of which "who" is the subject. "Whom" is in the objective case and properly introduces a relative clause of which "whom" is the--wait for it, wait for it--object. This, of course, is typical of European languages, which tend to inflect the endings of words to change some aspect of their meaning. (Fortunately for the online dating world, English doesn't have as many cases for nouns as Latin, which had seven: nominative (effectively, our subjective case), genitive, dative, accusative (effectively, our objective case), ablative, vocative, and locative). In comparison, "you're" and "your" are child's play. The *real* question is whether *you* can distinguish between and properly use "there's" and "there're," as I've been known to kill or maim people who use "there's" followed by a noun in the plural.


Also, pro tip: Please don't post a list of deal-breakers in your profile (or please delete it if you've already posted one). Few things in online dating are quite so off-putting or dispiriting, even if the guy doesn't trip whatever wire you've strung across his way. For example, I get that you want to date someone who is 6'3", but proudly trumpeting the fact that you won't deign to cast your eyes on anyone so much as a millimeter shorter than that will strike even the rare guy who is 6'3" as shallow. And most men, having been lectured ad nauseam about how shallow we are, at least make a conscious effort to keep it in check. Naturally, we try to avoid women who strike us as shallow. Please don't be surprised when we expect you to satisfy the same standards to which you seek to hold us.