Seriously, no one in my family can figure it out.
I've been a jock, a DJ, a corporate drone, a student, a teacher, a punk, a bouncer, a roadie for a metal band. I've cheated death twice. I've been described as "Charm and Deadly Kung-Fu all rolled into one."
I'm the kind of guy who carries all the groceries in the house at once just because I can.
I talk how I think, and I write like I talk. I'm honest, open, and I long ago lost any kind of filter. I've learned that being honest from the start saves you from ever having to say "Please don't flush my head down the toilet".
Full disclosure, because apparently in this day and age people are weird about body modification; I have 7 earrings (5 in my left ear, and a pair of industrials in my right) and 13 tattoos. Each tattoo has a story, and each represents an ideal I try to live up to, and is part of my core beliefs. It's part of who I am and the part I choose to share with the world.
I tell great stories, and I also listen well.
I question authority, and I can fix anything.
Here's a hint: IT'S NOT.
So I went back to school, because nothing cures boredom like studying Sociology and German economic reform.
And then I realized that I like being able to afford things. Like food. So back to the working world I went and now I come up with last minute solutions to other people's impossible problems, and try to explain to people who have more degrees than I do (I have four) how to do their jobs.
In between I'm a Nerd attempting to achieve Spaz social status. I've been known to play a video game or two, and I can rock out with the best of them at Rockband. I guess all those music lessons paid off.
I'm also told that I hug really well. And that my toast is sublime.
At least, that's what they tell me to my face. For all I know, the first thing people notice about me is my stunning lack of Jew Fro.
As far as books go, I have on my desk at this VERY MOMENT; Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson, Rights on Trial by Arthur Kinoy, and Is Belief In God Good, Bad, or Irrelevant by Greg Graffin.
Yes. *That* Greg Graffin. Lead singer of Bad Religion. He wrote a book. You should read it.
Food? I hear it's good, and makes you not die.
2) Running water
4) A plush Godzilla doll
I'm pretty sure with most of those I can Macgyver pretty much anything.
-Why Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet can't be friends.
-How to bring back the 80's.
Alternatively, I'm out with friends enjoying their company in small, quaint bars where one can have a drink and actually have a conversation that doesn't involve smoke signals and flare guns to be heard over the roar of the crowd.
I'm indestructible. No, seriously; multiple car accidents, bike accidents. More scars than I care to admit and the neat ability to predict when it's going to rain...six months in advance. I've drunk laundry detergent and survived and I'd be happy to talk about that lemony-fresh ordeal.
Half of my family has FBI records thanks to one of the greatest mysteries in the history of the United Nations.
2) If you're not a robot.
3) You're an intriguing robot.
4) You want to learn about Marx, Engel, and the rise of the British Working Class.
5) You aren't ashamed to know the Ed Lover dance.
6) You got this far down my profile and can't believe that someone like me actually exists and you want photographic proof that Unicorns are real.
7) You want to.