32London, United Kingdom
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Self-Summary MkII: I'm pretty objectionable in any kind of social context. I'm massively immature, a trait that has somehow combined with a level of sociopathic crankiness that no one in their first half-century should possess.
What I’m doing with my life
UPDATE III: REVENGE OF THE oh whatever, it's not funny is it?

Hello OKC. Haven't been here for a while, have I? I can't even be fucked to update this properly, life's too goddam short. You don't care what I spend my spare time doing or which Etruscan pottery shards are most exciting me right now. If you read all the way to the end of this snarky tome of self-adulation, we might get on.

The quick version of who/what I am:

* I am a theatre director. This is my money job. I also happen to love it. I direct things that are brutal and animalistic. Big earners, those. Or. Y'know. Not.

* I play in a band called Carthage. If you looks us up, we're not the American metal band. We're the English alt. rock band. The Americans insisted we change our name. We told them to go fuck themselves. So if we ever become properly successful there's a fun lawsuit in waiting. We are doing surprisingly well given the shortness of our existence.

Already bored. Reading down, I think I've become a lot more nihilistic than I used to be.


SECOND UPDATE: Everything below the line is about 18 months old. I live in Seven Sisters, I'm incredibly poor and overqualified theatre director/teacher. I could probably earn more money if I didn't keep trying to inject brutality and emotional rawness into everything I make.

I'm at that point in life where there's a million things that might be about to take off and make me very successful. But they might not.

I love my guitar and make ridiculous numbers of demos. But I'm not very good.

Also, unlike how it says below, I'm single now innit, and have been for a little while. This isn't a problem.


Right, let's update this shit then. I live in North London. Wait, no I don't. Debden is not London. They lied to me and told me it was, but it's patently fucking not.

I'm studying for my MA in Theatre Directing. Given I only have a handful of GCSEs so far, I'm relatively proud of myself for getting this far. It's a step up or two from a pillow in an empty room. Here's to a successful five years!

Everything after the line is old profile nonsense, but given I haven't had a personality transplant, and given that I still loathe pretty much absolutely fucking everyone, I might as well leave it as is...


I'm at the end of a personal era right now. In Bournemouth, I have two main jobs...

I direct at a theatre school, mainly working with 14-19 year old students. As an offshoot of that I have my own theatre company that mainly deals in promenade-type audience influenced pieces. We use a lot of alternative-reality style techniques, like fake websites and real world object drops. Usually to make some kind of over sledgehammer political/philosophical point.

I also work with Greg, an 18 year old lad who was in a car accident some time back. I'm not going to delve into specifics other than to say that by this point he's more like my little brother than a student.

And also to say that anyone who smugly coos that care work is fulfilling or rewarding is the kind of self-satisfied cunt I can do without.

I'm leaving Bournemouth soon, moving to London to do an MA in Directing. Will be nice to add a qualification to my current achievement of... one A Level...

I've been off the smokes for 32 days. This is purely down to health and money, it was starting to fuck both of them about. I loathe all other ex-smokers.
I’m really good at
Displaying an immense amount of prejudice against everyone in the world ever.
The first things people usually notice about me
I fidget excessively, usually tapping drumbeats on inappropriate objects to the point of inciting violence in companions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
No no no. Because I hate people who think they're your new best mate because you like the same album.
Six things I could never do without
Coffee, my guitar, my notepad, a selection of lovely pens, books, inappropriate humour
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything. My brain is hyperactive. In a bad way.
On a typical Friday night I am
Fucking shattered.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I know your mother intimately
You should message me if
You have nothing better to do and are willing to pay considerable lumps sums for my company
The two of us