MattVanHalen
35 Brooklyn, United States
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MattVanHalen
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My self-summary
"Don't let your dreams be dreams! Unless you die in those dreams. In that case, just let them continue to be dreams."
-- Me, just now

I have a highly developed brain, capable of abstract reasoning, language, introspection, and problem solving. This mental capability, combined with an erect body carriage that frees my hands for manipulating objects, has allowed me to make great use of tools. That's Wikipedia's definition of a human, and it describes me perfectly.

I have a cat - simultaneously strong and obese. Just a fat, strong shithead of a cat. He's great though.

I like cooking, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. Don't get excited.

I'm in Brooklyn's worst rap group: The Happy Rappies.
What I’m doing with my life
Just reading the phrase, "What I'm doing with my life" makes me sad.

Getting really annoyed at just how often people put "Livin'! Lol!" here.
I’m really good at
Identifying celebrity commercial narrations. For example: The Home Depot commercials? That's goddamn Ed Harris. Boosh. That's just a taste of what you're in store for. Welcome to erf.

Being coerced and manipulated, looking at things and listening to sounds, driving (though I don't own a car).

Mario Kart, I guess? And it turns out I'm great at the SNES Legend of Zelda. So, consider that.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a huge head (size, not ego).

Then probably my face, followed by my voice, then maybe my ears? Just various features ranging from obvious to less obvious.
The six things I could never do without
1. Video games
2. Shelter
3. Shame
4. Sanity
5. Lists
6. Employment
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All the best things. All the good ones. The hits.

I don't know... what do people think about? What an insane question. I guess programming, since that's my job and I spend ten hours a day there. Listen, back off. I'm still reeling from that "favorites" section. It seems like all I have are favorites, and nothing to say about myself that isn't defined by things that I like.
On a typical Friday night I am
Thinking I'd like to do something, realizing I'm too tired, then playing some games with friends, preparing to sleep, and finally actual sleep. Or maybe some Balderdash, but only the movie category.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You've come across my mediocre profile on OkCupid. Something about it intrigues you, but for technical reasons you are unable to make contact with me. Naturally, you email OkCupid's support staff. Their response fills you with terror: "That profile HAS BEEN DELETED FOR FORTY YEARS!"

As it turns out, this is a ghost profile!

Also, this message is coming from INSIDE THE INTERNET!
You should message me if
You'd like contact with someone who isn't constantly boasting about traveling, or being a "free spirit", or "down to earth". If anything, I am an incarcerated spirit who roams the clouds. Irony.
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