30Pratt, United States
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My self-summary
Hi I'm Jesse I am a 32 year old trans species. I used to be a koala bear. In my free time I enjoy sniffing lead paint and watching lead paint dry. Sometime I can't stop thinking about indistinguishable body parts. I am a part of a very select group of people that live action role play our favorite tv shows (breaking bad, walking dead, and of coarse.... Dexter) I am a level 5 body disposal master. I only accept dates in a dark alley after mid night. You're welcome to come but you will only get to see me naked if you bring hard drugs and rufilin. I hope you're excited I sure am... in my pants.

Now that I got that out of the way... I am a smart ass and I have a very dry sense of humor.
I'm an Artist at heart. I am very surprised that I have no tattoos... I ought to get on that. I have an amazing dog.

Also if you are opposed or turned off to smokers. (I totally get it) I can easily put them away. I will say I do smoke clove cigarettes mostly while working or drinking. They smell more like incense than anything else.

"The looking glass means more to the meek
Than divinity inside the lost words that seekers speak
Altruistic ones head devoted to the balanced mystique
We venture so suddenly slipping on the cracks that creak
Rested thoughts won't satisfy a troubled mind
With troublesome miscreants the takers divide
Sudden succession the salvation subscribed
Recreational addictions will prayers provide
Decadence misguided we pay out with pride" Jesse Mathe 2012
What I’m doing with my life
I'm mostly just working full time. I live with roomates and I drive a 90's camaro. If you're looking for someone that has money, I'm far from it. If you're looking for someone who's creative, sweet, and loyal I'm your guy.

"Watching the blinds
Signaling campfires
Smokescreens are candles to your mind
We mistook our idols
Here inside of you it's faith I find
Something sweeter on my teeth
We are sacred from disease
Sat here in a perfect harmony
Deciphering verses
Mistaking sight from what we see
Softer said what we say
As dangerous as the beats our bodies play" Jesse 2013
I’m really good at
reading people, surprising people, exceeding expectations, watching paint dry, using big words to appear more intelligent, not understanding acronyms, being nicknamed, sketching, writing, acting.

"There is a puddle of dreams
we pass over or at least it seems.
every time were meeting
mistakes are frequently repeating
All our chances are repleting
apathy's without meaning.
Collectively we are chasing are own shadows
We are dead before the gallows
crossing our own line that divides our saints from sinners
separating the grins from grinners
camped round our gloried box with tv dinners
playing games as new beginners
I'll falsify my own death certificate
and find words that make me feel articulate
and find feeling to charade a reciprocate
I know I'm not the vision of tranquility
when I'm filing papers for mental instability
were the vultures and the turtle doves
were cheaters just searching for love
from high above
just past Jupiter and proxima centauri
my heads a little ajar-ry
catch the new alarming
way to say were special
when were just atoms floating through it all" 2010 Jesse Mathe
The first things people usually notice about me
eyes, height, goofiness

"The world is nothing more than the places you go"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: harry potter, white fang, a tale of two cities, carlin books, palahniuk books.

Movies: fight club, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, the departed, Garden state, snatch, inception, anything really

Music: modest mouse, rise against, cage the elephant, tool, spoon, alkaline trio, chevelle, third eye blind, thrice, death cab, etc

Tv: breaking bad, scrubs, house, anything funny or intelligent.
Six things I could never do without
brain, love, something to work for, Technology, my dog, an audience

"I've seen the torn debris
the supplementing what the seer can't foresee
monumental distances
the passive thinkers dissidence
travelling mountains to subside
diving deeper to confide
placing patterns in the tide
barely touching the severed side
bottled envy a livid calm
raging in me my misted palm
I've read my lifelines
I'm in between
diver ed instance
eugenic detainment
filling pockets
draining me
captive reasons
false excuse
you'll never please them
you'll cut them loose
intentions fading
we drift alone
elegance is dead today
lose your mind don't speak don't stay" 2008 Jesse
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My future, friends, family, society, humor

My Words My Thoughts

I wrote the following I hope it inspire you.

The world shapes and defines us. Every busted and broken memory consumes us in times of grief. Like the most beautiful of plants growing in the worst of conditions we grow and we strengthen. We become our worst enemies out of fear. Time always marches on and we look back and smile at what we have been through. Every year of our lives is defined in months of hardship and moments of pleasure. Collectively joined in what links each of us together. Separated in what pushes us apart. Primed, primped, and proper we each dedicate the most meaningful of definitions of what will make us each unique. Though our values may differ while our hearts are as unique a fingerprint we value each connection that we can possibly earn. Yet we run from the ones that don’t meet our expectations. All we really need to do is smile. The world is based on our perspective. We see it in increments. We see it through barriers. We see it as a vast body of water that we may, in fact, drown in. We each find our comforts in many different and varying things. Find what it is that truly defines you. Always breathe. Always laugh. Always smile. We are as small as we let ourselves become. We are strong. We are grounded. We are existing for our own special purpose. Find your purpose then find someone to share it with. Cherish every precious heartbeat. You are as beautiful as your fingerprints. Each day is a number. No one will ever know which number is their last. Don’t be afraid to cut yourself loose. Don’t be afraid to set yourself free. Don’t be afraid to clutch tighter than you’ve ever clutched before. Enjoy your grief. Relish your happiness. Trap those immediate responses and let them free. Forget the system. Forget the things that can’t live or think for themselves. Dictate who you are through that which fits inside of your comfortable bubble. Then break that bubble. Set yourself to new standards. Find your new strengths. Develop new abilities. Seek new knowledge. Redefine yourself and grow like a plant through concrete. Never run away. Never Falter. Just Grow.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either at home or out. Sometimes I'm working late.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Ill admit everything. Im very honest. I will tell you absolutely anything.

The soul must be free by Jesse Mathe
The soul must be free no matter what the cost. just as long as my heart must pump blood and my lungs breathe air. My soul must be free no matter what the cost. I feel that honest. If I keep weighing myself down with fear and anxiety and empty thoughts. Well why do we live that way? Happiness is as easy as turning on a light in all honesty. We tell ourselves we can't be happy because this happend or I don't have this yet or all of this right here is not what I wanted. I don't have the right to tell you what it is that will make you happy. But I guarentee if I asked you the majority of you would say something physical, standard, man made, tangible. But were setting these goals to such specifics. If we say that we need to be with so and so to be in love and happy or we need this job at this place to be feeling good forever.... well what happens when we get there and experience it and see that not everything is a fairy tale. Fairy tales exist but nothing is perfect. You have to believe that you'll find yours... but you also have to believe that it will have it's flaws.... But in the abstract... you can find happiness... plant it in your mind that you are worthy and capable and determined to be or get what you want as an abstract idea..... I deserve love.. I deserve a job that i"m happy with... I deserve to feel some support at home.... if you plant these ideas in your head and water them and give them oxygen they will grow into a reality...... you wear them down with stormy weather... heavy winds and bitter coldness.. and they will die... and a dead dream lying around in your brain will only sit until you can cut it down and try again... or give up completely.... You have everything it takes to get everything you want... no matter what our struggles.. no matter how deep or horrifying our scars are... no matter how warped and winded our weather and conditions may be... we are all capable of finding happiness.... Free your soul... free your mind... free your emotions... I suggest you start from this point on... and let go of every tie.. every burden in your head.. every belief that you are not good enough... that you are not beautiful enough.. that you are not skinny enough.. well off enough... strong enough... smart enough.. funny enough... or caring enough... it is all in your head... everything takes time and effort... but it's always in your head... if you can't take that first step and you fill your head with I can'ts or I'm just not good enoughs... well you won't be... your mind will believe what you tell it... your subconscience will soak in every thought you have and you will have this in the back of your mind at all times... acting like a road block... let them go... find your comfort... now go out and get it.... your soul must be free no matter what the cost.... don't weigh your soul down... let it fly... let it move with the wind.. flow with the current and enjoy every up and down and dip of every single day.... don't drag it across the dirt every year of your life.... how could you ever breath with dirt caking your heart.. or your lungs.... your soul may just be an idea .. or an analytical thought but it is a representation or a projection of your feelings emotions.. dreams.... thoughts.... and expressions... and imprint of who you are..... let it be free don't weigh it down... and thats my abstract thinking for the night
You should message me if
You think we'd get along. I'm easy to talk to. If you made it through all this I commend you.

"Grasping my watch losing touch of the second hand
Reprimanding my being for being so unplanned
Rescued thoughts of temper tantrums ahead
Saluting my head rush as the vertigo sped
Amusement spontaneously takes hold
Im feeling unpleasantly bold growing old
Unscripted, diluted, im instantly uprooted
By my instincts all over the ground
All that ive found
Is a piece of a fragment of a figment of my imagination.
And its growing duller here stuck in my head
Resembling melancholy Buddha i am something of a self defined Judah
Sacrificing my conscience for your piece of mind
Saturating the air you breath with my toxic life unaligned
Selflessly fucking people over just to find that i am fine
Here somewhere spinning spiraling crashing to the earth
Is that so unheard of?" Jesse 2012
The two of us