33 Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
I like working with kids because we share the same stupid, juvenile sense of humor. I also really like playing Battleship and Mancala, I can't believe I ever forgot that coloring pages and doodling for hours are both amazing, and I think farts area really, really funny.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to ignore my student loans, trying to be the most well read person alive.
I’m really good at
Unconsciously mimicking everyone I have ever known, even in front of them.
Talking six year olds down from existential crises.
Making deviled eggs (most recent: french toast deviled eggs)
Also I make really good chip dip.
The first things people usually notice about me
I talk REALLY loud and I curse A LOT.

I also REALLY like using caps. Clearly unrelated.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Villette by Charlotte Bronte is my favorite book ever. Currently reading lots of depressing non-fiction because I can't find any good nerd novels to read.

Movies: Anything by Tati, My Winnipeg, Encounters at the End of the World, In the Mood for Love, In the City of Sylvia, My Dear Enemy, Children of Men, Shoot 'Em Up, The Host, Hocus Pocus, The Burbs, Clueless, Newsies. I could write a thesis about that scene at the end of the new Ghostbusters where the crowd throws Kevin back his sandwich. IT'S ABOUT WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE. /thesis

Music: Right now, Carly Rae Jepsen's b-sides on repeat and a lot of mid-2000s hip-hop

TV: Current obsession is what my friends and I term "Gentle British Mysteries." Think: Rosemary and Thyme, Midsomer Murders, Miss Marple mysteries. Also Full Frontal

Food: I just like good food. Practically, I have no allergies and eat for convenience more than I'd like, and I love cooking and grocery shopping and food is just great. Madison Market for life.
Fuck olives, shellfish, sour beer, and goat cheese, keep that shit away from me, I've tried them and they are all out to get me. Everything else is cool though.
The six things I could never do without
An internet connection, Seattle Metro, little dude friends (hanging out with kids), sun, fart jokes, FRIENDSHIP! **sparkles**
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How can I manage to afford to buy a dog as soon as possible.

Could I get away with stealing this cat?

If I farted in this loud bar right now would anyone notice?

Labor ethics in the non-profit sector.

Cover letters. OH GOD cover letters.
On a typical Friday night I am
Let's be honest, I'm probably watching SVU and drinking beer alone. Save me from myself.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a feminist. Which isn't actually private but separates the wheat from the chaff.

I never learned how to ride a bike or swim.

I hope to someday be that lady who carries a small dog around in her purse*. Maybe feed it table scraps at restaurants, I don't know. I guess how extreme that gets depends on how well this online dating thing goes.

*and/or a cat on a leash
You should message me if
You've put a modicum of effort into this process. You have one line on your profile and you message me with a "hey whats up?" Nah, bro. Do you see how much I wrote up there? Come ON, people.

Do you read lady authors? That's a plus. Black Lives Matter? Plus. Voting for Hillary? Plus. Don't work in tech? Plus (it won't rule you out but based on my past interactions i seriously doubt we'll have much in common). Holy shit do you work in the nonprofit sector? GET AT ME BRO