Really... I swear.
(Why do people always look at me oddly at this point? Sometimes non-evil people have flying robotic minions...)
On the bright side, the job does support my hobbies and a very expensive book habit.
I am an engineer by training and temperament, so I do tend to "geek out" on occasion (i.e. most of the time). Recently, I have been considering turning one of my hobby projects into a doctoral thesis (at the recommendation of a couple of my grad school professors). I think the main reason I haven't yet is that I'm not sure if I could introduce myself as "Doctor" without cracking up a bit. (If you don't know why, go and watch "Spies Like Us". I'll wait...)
I am presently owned by two cats, but they let me do my own thing as long as I provide plenty of food, cardboard boxes, and people to attack. Of course, they despise my hobby projects, as they take up time that could be better spent idolizing cats.
I'm a pretty good cook, but I'm not about to quit my day job. In part, this is because I generally enjoy my job (and I hate the cleanup after cooking).
I tend to be quite good at just about anything involving mathematics, electronics, computers, logic, and game theory. This explains my current profession.
I also tend to read at a rather prodigious (some people might say insane) rate, but I don't mind keeping Amazon and local bookstores in business.
I seem to be pretty good at applying seemingly unrelated bits of esoteric knowledge to real-world problems. (I have even managed to apply Gödel's incompleteness theorems on the job in a practical manner. This will likely get me banned from math departments throughout the world.)
Maybe I should write that up as a screenplay and submit it to the SciFi channel... (Update: due to the name change, I may have to sell this movie somewhere else. I just couldn't take myself seriously if I sold out to the "SyFy" channel.)
Authors from the recently read pile include (in no particular order): David Weber, Ian Douglas, H.P. Lovecraft, Paolo Bacigalupi, James Patterson, Brandon Sanderson, Tom Clancy, Jack Campbell, Joe Haldeman, Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Butcher, Isaac Asimov, Raymond E. Feist, Neil Gaiman, Sergei Lukyanenko, Terry Pratchett, Larry Niven, Ben Aaronovitch, Neil Stephenson, Peter F. Hamilton, Arthur C. Clarke, John Ringo, Jeff Lindsay, Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child, Travis S. Taylor, and John Scalzi (go look up "The Battle of the Scamperbeasts"... I'll wait).
While I am a major fan of atrocious sci-fi and horror movies, I also enjoy the occasional good movie. (When I say atrocious, I mean it. I've watched the full versions of Howling VII, This Island Earth, and Manos: the Hands of Fate. I even have a credited on-screen role in Deadlands 2: Trapped.)
I'm willing to listen to just about anything, and my musical tastes vary widely depending on my mood. (Recently, my tastes have been varying between Five Finger Death Punch, Flyleaf, Tantric, Dropkick Murphys, Lacuna Coil, Anthrax, Evanescence, Megadeth, Avenged Sevenfold, Godsmack, Metallica, Mozart, Plumb, Bullet For My Valentine, Staind, Halestorm, Saliva, anime soundtracks (specifically Ghost in the Shell and Cowboy Bebop), Jonathan Coulton, and Apocalyptica.)
I greatly enjoy cooking (except for the cleanup), but I also love going out for good food. I can almost always be convinced to go out for a good steak, sushi, or good seafood. I'm always on the lookout for good Thai, Vietnamese, or Chinese food. (I have given up on finding good Mexican food in Maryland.)
2. intelligent conversation
3. feline overlords (I, for one, welcome them...)
5. camping gear
7. an inability to count
6. a sense of humor
I also spend a decent amount of time trying to find interesting ways to modify recipes in order to come up with dishes that sound incredibly odd but are nonetheless delicious. I usually test these recipes on co-workers in order to weasel around potential violations of the Geneva Conventions. So far, I have managed to avoid being prosecuted at the Hague (although my cornbread came close on a few occasions). My most recent kitchen upgrade has been a good sous vides setup, so I can better apply science to much of my cooking.
On occasion, I do get caught up in various home improvement projects. To date, I have somehow managed to avoid permanently injuring myself or others. In part, I think this is because I dealt with all of the electrical work before I moved in (and had to keep anything powered).
I often use Friday as a night to get together with friends for good food, good games, or a bad movie. After more stressful weeks I will often lounge about at home with two cats and a book or three.
Over the past couple of years, I have been getting back into camping, so Friday night might see me in the middle of the woods somewhere.