32Auckland, New Zealand
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Wow! All of my months of hard work, slaved over a computer screen wondering what the hell I should type for my internet dating profile, and here it is. I think you may have just won the lottery!

Fair warning if you turn out anything like my last date, we wouldn't work. I don't mean to be rude but just because you are a make-up model and you look good, doesn't mean I'm going to give you everything you desire.

Here's the deal, it was quite funny. I took her out to an awesome bar in town. This was after she attempted to spray me with a bottle of perfume to cover up the smell of my cigarettes in my OWN car. Followed up by a stare down where she proceeds to ask me "James. Will you please open my door for me?".

After 2 dates together and several hours of torture. I simply dropped her off at her front door and put the pedal to the medal. I suppose I was too kind to actually drive her home rather than leave her on the side of the road in town.

She even had the balls to say "I should have given you sexual favors, maybe then you would have stayed". As if, there is a reason I didn't choose to sleep with you!

Call me a douche-bag all you want. I even call myself that when I look in the mirror every morning!
But in all seriousness, I like the type of woman who has an amazing body but also has the intelligence and a sense of humor that keeps me laughing.

You know one thing I find interesting is how many women absolutely feel like they are some sort of King on a throne. Come on ladies. You're people like the rest of us. You may think just because you have a pair of tits and a nice ass that you deserve the world. I'm way above that sweetie. Show me the real you and then we'll talk!

Times have changed and although I dont mind paying for a first date. If you message me answering where you'd plan to take us on a first date, you'd definitely hook my attention.

I also cannot stand those simple "Hey" or "What's up?" messages. Seriously? I know you women are creative enough to type something worth-while. I'll automatically ignore them. And I don't care how good-looking you are. If you cannot e-mail decently, I'll assume youre just another bore, with no sense of humor and most likely smell like fish. Yes I just went there.

I find it quite shocking how many women open up almost immediately on a first date. That's why I enjoy dating so much. I can't even begin to count the numerous times I've heard about crazy ex-dates or the horrible dudes they slept with. Although, I'm not always interested in hearing about how many men you blew in the dark alleyway last summer it's still interesting conversation.

Maturity, intelligence, and yet someone who is sweet, humorous, and down-to-earth is my ideal woman. These traits come first over looks.
Notice: If you actually take all of this seriously do not message some stuck-up, prudey hate-mail. You will not get a response.

I choose not to sit here and tell you how perfect I am. How great in bed I am. How much of a nice, gentleman I am. Why not sum it up. Run away! Seriously. Now. Click that little back button in the top left corner and message the previous virgin you were just looking at.

Many women ask me what I do for a living so I felt I should include a little snippet. I work full time as a scrum master, while continuing to work on my business enterprises. That is my dream.

I am actually planning to write an online dating book. Yeah, go me, let me brag some more about myself
Actually, many of my friends would recruit me to hack their accounts and get them numbers/dates. They ended up meeting some interesting women and finding great relationships they begged me to write about how other men can do such a thing.

p.s. im the piggybacker not the pickybackee
You should message me if
The type of woman who will message me will understand sarcasm, apparently. And be ready to let go and have a good time.

A good time may include:
* Drinks over intelligent conversation and many laughs
* Kicking some ass in mini-golf
* Perhaps even a museum or art show
* Ripping each others clothes off in my bedroom

If you believe you could read between the lines of my profile, are ready for a good time, can make me laugh countless times over a few drinks and interesting conversation and of course, are not a total prude, shoot me a message.

The two of us