1) is of me, and is of my face or body
2) is not copywritten material
3) is not of an animal or child
4) is not pornographic (unless your eyesight/imagination is terrible/incredible)
I want a girl with
A mind like a diamond
I want a girl who
Knows what's best
I want a girl with
Shoes that cut
And eyes that burn
I want a girl with
The right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
With her jewellery
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facilities
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt
And a lonnnnng jacket.
Failing that, if you have either red hair/interesting accent*/freckles or any combination of the above, congratulations, apparently I'm biologically programmed to love you even if you don't fit the skirt/jacket size ratio criteria.
*interesting, not fucking annoying...sorry Liverpool.
I'm a bit of a contradiction. I like having a good time with people but like my own company. I'm full of good ideas but too conservative to go by my own advice. I'm male but I hate football (but I support Shrewsbury out of massively misplaced hometown pride). I get on with lots of different types of people but not more than 4 at a time (situation specific, if it IS some kind of syndrome it's a bloody specific one) and i dont like crowds. I think a lot about the right thing to say/ do and then blurt out the opposite. I am a grammar Nazi but am dyslexic. I would say I'm easy going but that would be a lie - I'm probably seething about something at any given time, but I'm good at keeping it hidden until I get over it or until I get to the fast food restaurant and have to shoot a hole in the ceiling so I get what I want ( if you haven't seen that film you should, even if it only makes you thankful I can't get my hands on a rpg over here)
I'm probably a pain in the ass to be honest.
Ok so that was fairly tame in that I didn't swear half as much as I probably would have done if I had been saying it out loud. I tend to adapt myself, my mannerisms and my language to suit the company ( hence the 4 person limit - gets a bit tricky above that) so I try to keep the swearing down, but frankly I couldn't give a fuck about it otherwise. Swearing is only swearing if you take it literally, otherwise it's just words. It's not like I'm actually going to fuck that duck, is it? (Net-Cops; I'm not) So get a sense of perspective. Swearing is useful and does make some things literally funny as fuck. It's also very descriptive, in fact I've often been lost for words trying to describe something to my mum without it. 'Very big' just doesn't seem to cut it. Having said that I'm pretty good at gauging the audience and am polite and well mannered when required so I can convince your parents I'm good for you while secretly sullying your mind with my ever expanding repetoire of creative swear words.
I have a severe aversion to the syllable 'op'. Yes. A syllable. I told you I was a pain in the ass. There are a number of words I have problems with but that's a pretty common denominator. So if you ask me to pop something on top of something, one or both of those things will almost certainly end up broken. This same principle applies to a number of words and phrases, especially things that I would refer to as 'twee', text speak, bad grammar, and references to things being greater than 100% when, by definition, they can't be. Oh, and cliches. Are you bubbly? Or are you just overweight? I'm not judging, I could certainly stand to lose a bit myself; but until you are literally effervescent, just say what you mean.
It did say summary didn't it...
Queens of the stone age
Credence Clearwater revival
Thom title (apparently) and most things radiohead (seriously, why the fuck am I having to correct that from radioheaf? What the fuck is a radioheaf?)
Loads of stuff. I don't have a type really, and am willing to give anything a chance. Some might say that's eclectic, but that's just your way of trying to make yourself sound like a special little snowflake with extraordinary tastes. I have no taste and I don't care. I like what I like, and if i like something you think is shit, then surely I win by virtue of having more stuff I can listen to.
On the otherhand, freestyle jazz. Whataloadofshit. And no, daddyo, it's not cos I don't 'get' it. It's because it's a fucking mess and it hurts my mind.
Samuel L Jackson films (yes, all of them, don't be hatin')
Some books. Quite a lot of books actually. Read the music section above if you're Interested, just replace 'music' with 'books' and 'freestyle jazz' with 'celebrity autobiographies'.
You get the idea, all the good stuff and certainly nothing that I should be ashamed of... Right?
'oh dude, you're so under the thumb of The Man; you were asked for 6 and you just like, totally bent over and let him shaft you like his bitch'. I put 6 because I can read and understand the question. Putting 7 does not make you James Dean.
For someone that's pretty shy, I'm surprisingly willing to admit to embarrassing things in person. I suppose I must have few scruples and even less dignity.
More importantly, don't message me if;
You've used the word 'eclectic' in your 'favourites' lists. Oh god, the pain of seeing that on profile after profile...
You think it's EVER appropriate to use the word 'diva'.
You don't understand the difference between pessimism, cynicism and frigging realism.