32Cambridge, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

I put the 'oo' in zoology.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by Yorkshire County, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy suburban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I do not perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes. Last summer I toured North Norfolk with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My batting average is 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. Too much.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in Tesco Metro. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a hard chair. While on vacation in Wales, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I duck, I dive, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a dead rat and a toaster.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet had a proper job.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a mild mannered bespectacled librarian. And I won't have it said otherwise.
I’m really good at
I think I'm good at talking to people and getting on with people. I play the trombone and guitar and am learning double bass. I've been doing swing dancing for a while now so I'm starting to get better at that too.
The first things people usually notice about me
They usually say something amusing about Harry potter glasses. If you can get past them I'm actually quite interesting. Honest.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Oh god all sorts. If you're actually interested drop me a line.
Six things I could never do without
Several large books
At least one guitar
Intelligent conversation
Absurd and ridiculous conversation
My glasses. Coz I need em to see.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How almost everything is far more complicated than you can possibly imagine. It pickles me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Out. Drinking lovely beer with lovely friends.
You should message me if
You feel like it! Meeting people is good.
The two of us