29Hoboken, United States
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My self-summary
I've been attacked by an entire nest of wasps because I thought they were gnats and I wanted to run through them and pretend they were bees, thinking I was bad ass.

I dance in Marshalls, Khols, grocery stores, etc. And I usually don't even notice I'm doing it. And I get stared at. A lot.

I'm a merchandiser for a pet pharmacy ecommerce, and i give everyone i meet discounts on dog toys, meds and food to.

Yes, I do have a puppy. And yes, unless okcupid makes me delete it, that is a picture of her below.

I enjoy many things.
What I’m doing with my life
merchandising for an e-commerce pet pharmacy. Knowing everything about heart worms and ticks. I write freelance creative and interview/editorial pieces.


Slowly but surely becoming a successful author of fiction while simultaneously dance battling everyone. And losing.
I’m really good at
Waving at people I don't know.

Slappin Da Bass.

Writing, talking to people I've never met, planning terrible halloween costumes, camping, attempting to dance while sort of embarrassing myself, Kayaking,

Pretending I know Karate, laying down and napping, eating a lot at once, opening jars of things, brushing my teeth, tying my shoes, complaining to restaurants and businesses until I get free meals and services.
The first things people usually notice about me
Most likely the cartoon stink lines rising off of my body.

Or the lightbulb above my head when I realize something.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Jon Krakauer - Best Non-Fiction author of the last 15 years. If you disagree then don't talk to me. Auguesten Burroghs, Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allen Poe, Faulkner, Steven King, Dracula, Mark Twain, JK Rowling, Truman Capote, Kurt Vonnegot

What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Fight Club, American History X, The Truman Show, Dumb and Dumber, Batman Trilogy, The Shining, Basically all of the Disney Pixar flicks. Anything with Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Leonardo Dicaprio, Meryl Streep. I also love documentaries.

I listen to literally ever type of music. Just depends on the day, the setting, the feel, my mood, etc. Death Cab for Cutie, The Shins, Of Monsters and Men yesterday, today feels like a Whitney Houston Alicia Keys day (seriously). Tomorrow might be Explosions in the Sky, This Will Destroy You, Band of Horses or Tim McGraw and Luke Bryan. If I'm feelin like gettin weird, I gotta go throwback rap with some Biggie, Tupac, or some M83 when I'm attempting to dance. If I'm feeling really jersey, I'll go through some Bruce Springsteen or the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Tom Petty.

the office, Its always sunny in philadelphia, 30 Rock, Seinfeld, Workaholics, Curb your Enthusiasm, park and recreation, Boardwalk Empire

Food goes in your mouth and out your booty.
Six things I could never do without
My Butler
His Butler
My Personal Cook
My twelve luxury cars and two limousines (How am I supposed to pick up my escorts from the airport?)
My personal Jets. (Because how are my escorts supposed to get home?)
The east wing of my mega mansion. (What am I, supposed to live in an APARTMENT? Like some jabroni?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether Tupac is really dead, because I'm like 80% sure I saw him driving a Toyata Camry in Long Branch NJ. He had purple hair.

Food. A lot. I think I have Prader-Willie Syndrome.

When to say "that's what she said". Especially at work. In meetings.
On a typical Friday night I am
Practicing my tap dancing moves in front of the full body mirror in my apartment with my 13 cats.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm always tempted to ask for crayons at restaurants with paper menus.

I'm also Batman.

And Harry Potter.
You should message me if
You sing songs while you make sandwiches, replacing the real lyrics with your own made up ones.
The two of us