39 Oakland, United States
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My self-summary
The dreaded open-ended question.

Well. I'm your unicorn. Stop browsing right now and email me.

Or read the other answers below... some of them might even make you laugh. Maaaaaybe.
What I’m doing with my life
Being sarcastic. Insert smirk here.

Spending far too much time looking for love. :-)

Running a startup. Software. No, no Star Trek shirts are in my closet. The dresser... no. You can't go in the dresser. Do NOT open that drawer... aw crap. There goes the reputation.

Filling out silly online dating forms.

Oh, and for those that care about the actual answers to this question: working out, running, basketball, handstands, keeping up with various bro-mances, reading "sophisticated" periodicals (insert eye roll as appropriate about the NYT or the WSJ), quoting Fight Club and Douglas Adams, cracking self-deprecating nerd jokes, doing what I can to make someone's day, pondering my place in life, and being a pretty hopeless romantic.
I’m really good at
Getting you to open up.

Making you laugh.

Imitating Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Most things athletic.


Dancing. Yes, I'm straight.

Ranting. Don't worry, they're usually pretty funny.

Remembering things. Near-photographic memory. Yes, I'm serious.

Handling stress well.

Telling you which jeans are most flattering. Hey, it's an art.
The first things people usually notice about me
My smirk. Can it really be simultaneously irreverent AND charming? (lol)

Um. My cleverly disguised nerdy wit?
The six things I could never do without
I get the feeling that things like "toilet paper" are supposed to be assumed here. Why is that? Like we're gonna show up on a desert island with our Prada bags, snowboards, or cheetos and NOT miss good ol' TP? Seriously?

How about good skates, good shoes, and good food. In no particular order. The rest... uhm. Well. I'm here looking for YOU. Fill in the blanks with your best attributes and what we should be giving to each other. That's probably pretty close. ;-)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Unicorns and Rainbows. (Suddenly I hear Erasure in my head. Is that weird?)

Why women say there are no good guys out there. Usually, of course, these are the same gals who are super cute and never look back at smart good looking boys when they smile at them from across the room. Give me a little nod, ladies! Please? I'm not gonna cross the room and try to entertain you and three of your friends because you noticed me and then quickly looked away!

Oh, and the long term effects of computer keyboard usage on the evolution of human phalanges. Those are fingers. Get your head out of the gutter.
On a typical Friday night I am
Not crossing the room to perform stand up comedy for you and your three friends. (See "spend a lot of time thinking about" section. This should be funny.)

Recently... happy hour with colleagues, food of some kind, and sleep before midnight.

How about we get "food of some kind" together. If you must bring three of your friends, that's fine. I'll prep my stand up routine... (hangs head)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Does "I see dead people" count? Ok. Bad joke. Haley Joel is like 30 now.

I don't know. I'm so open that this question is hard. I think that love is hard, that people are too cynical, that we should all let our guard down, and that a little more love, even in -- nay, especially -- the big city (or SF, since that's what qualifies as a big city in these parts) would literally make the world a better place.

Hmm... that was a good start. Here we go.

I'm a little cynical about dating.

I kinda want to fall in love (fast) and dream big even though it can be unattractive, scary, and earns the ire of some of the bros.

I work too hard. I kinda like it, though. Work can be more dependable than people.

I fear the age when "ooh sexy, one of the last good single dudes" becomes "he's still single? isn't that kinda creepy?"

Um. Yeah. I might delete half of this later...
You should message me if
You realize that most of this is humor but can still read between the lines and find me funny, stimulating, and/or too good to be true.