I have an almost savant-like ability to memorize entire chunks of Wikipedia and numerous useless or esoteric facts, so I'm an asset to any trivia team.
Currently accepting applications for a special lady who complements me so that we are proud and happy to be with each other, so that I wake up every morning ready to smash through life's obstacles the way the Kool-Aid Man bursts through brick walls.
I played Sweeper and Shortstop growing up and managed to not embarrass myself, if not be downright respectable at both. Despite my love of hockey, I am incapable of skating to save my life. I'm surprisingly adept at Greek dancing, though.
Not necessarily looking for casual sex, though it's had the tendency of finding me from time to time.
I enjoy the company of my buddies from different stages of life, and have exposed myself to their mockery, excuse me, to their *adoring, unbridled adulation* by sharing this profile with them.
Also, I enjoy delicious chicken wings.
* Making you laugh whether you are happy, sad, and especially when you are crying. The latter usually involves tears and mascara on one of my t-shirts, a huge hug, and a kiss on the top of your head.
* Selecting and recommending quality craft brew
* Lifting up fairly heavy objects and moving them for periods of time based purely on my disdain for gravity
* Raising Penguin Awareness
Movie: This one’s a total litmus test as to compatibility. No spoilers.
Music: Radiohead, Tame Impala, anything Josh Homme has ever done, Greek music, stuff so underground that even Hipsters haven’t heard of it, yet.
Food: Pretty much everything Greek, Italian, and Thai. Unless you are cooking for me, in which case, I’m sure it’s delicious and I’ll bring over the proper wine pairing.
* Weiner Dogs & Corgis
* Penguins (the animals and the Pittsburgh Hockey Team)
* Soccer/Proper Footballing
* The Series of Tubes known as "the Internets"
* Jerked meats of the Beef, Turkey, and Buffalo variety
Once I have triumphed over Sucktitude, I’m usually at the bar with friends.
You have yet to experience true Steel City wit & charm.
You also enjoy the ubiquitous use of the interrobang. Don't you just love the interrobang?!
You don’t take yourself too seriously. I have an accountant and an attorney on retainer for those conversations.
**Above all**: Ladies, please quit messaging me with formulaic tripe like, "Hey, Baby!" or asking me if I want to "bang" or "bone" or "smash" you. And please cease sending me creepy PMs soliciting pics of my dong. I am more than just a fetish, so before you write something like that, ask yourself, "Would Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly send this PM?"