36Tallahassee, United States
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My self-summary
Originally from Pittsburgh, land of bridges, sandwiches with French fries, exemplars of masculinity, and sultry lasses. As such, I can eat coal and defecate steel.

I have an almost savant-like ability to memorize entire chunks of Wikipedia and numerous useless or esoteric facts, so I'm an asset to any trivia team.

Currently accepting applications for a special lady who complements me so that we are proud and happy to be with each other, so that I wake up every morning ready to smash through life's obstacles the way the Kool-Aid Man bursts through brick walls.

I played Sweeper and Shortstop growing up and managed to not embarrass myself, if not be downright respectable at both. Despite my love of hockey, I am incapable of skating to save my life. I'm surprisingly adept at Greek dancing, though.

Not necessarily looking for casual sex, though it's had the tendency of finding me from time to time.

I enjoy the company of my buddies from different stages of life, and have exposed myself to their mockery, excuse me, to their *adoring, unbridled adulation* by sharing this profile with them.
What I’m doing with my life
I’m in search of elusive experiences and attributes that lead to virtue, happiness, and success. Seeking to feel one with the Universe and interconnected to the rest of humanity. Aspiring to extract every ounce of awesomeness I can from life before shedding my mortal coil. Bonus if I can figure out how to iron a dress shirt along this journey.

Also, I enjoy delicious chicken wings.
I’m really good at
* Optimizing snuggliness and cuddliness, be it on a park bench, under a tree, on a couch binge-watching Netflix, or when spooning

* Making you laugh whether you are happy, sad, and especially when you are crying. The latter usually involves tears and mascara on one of my t-shirts, a huge hug, and a kiss on the top of your head.

* Selecting and recommending quality craft brew

* Lifting up fairly heavy objects and moving them for periods of time based purely on my disdain for gravity

* Raising Penguin Awareness
The first things people usually notice about me
My prototypical Greek schnozzola, followed by my sense of humor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Book: I travel everywhere with a worn copy of my favorite book. Alexander the Great did so as well, and things turned out pretty well for him.

Movie: This one’s a total litmus test as to compatibility. No spoilers.

Music: Radiohead, Tame Impala, anything Josh Homme has ever done, Greek music, stuff so underground that even Hipsters haven’t heard of it, yet.

Food: Pretty much everything Greek, Italian, and Thai. Unless you are cooking for me, in which case, I’m sure it’s delicious and I’ll bring over the proper wine pairing.
Six things I could never do without
* Diet Dr. Pepper

* Weiner Dogs & Corgis

* Penguins (the animals and the Pittsburgh Hockey Team)

* Soccer/Proper Footballing

* The Series of Tubes known as "the Internets"

* Jerked meats of the Beef, Turkey, and Buffalo variety
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How you will probably make me jump through a bunch of hoops in this bizarre paradigm we call "dating," but that witty banter and verbal tango can become the foundation for some great memories and inside jokes. How pragmatic it would be to have a pet Emperor Penguin. How I wish to get back to Greece, visit my cousins in Australia, and generally get a few more stamps on my passport in the next few years.
On a typical Friday night I am
Combating Negativity in Tallytown by infusing it with Optimism, Truth, and Beauty.

Once I have triumphed over Sucktitude, I’m usually at the bar with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once passed on hooking up with a girl because she had a Dave Matthews poster in her room. I regret absolutely nothing about that transaction.
You should message me if
You are prepared to introduce an overwhelming amount of awesomeness into your life and can accept that years later you’ll either be thanking or cursing yourself for letting this guy into your life. [References from ex-girlfriends available upon request.]

You have yet to experience true Steel City wit & charm.

You also enjoy the ubiquitous use of the interrobang. Don't you just love the interrobang?!

You don’t take yourself too seriously. I have an accountant and an attorney on retainer for those conversations.

**Above all**: Ladies, please quit messaging me with formulaic tripe like, "Hey, Baby!" or asking me if I want to "bang" or "bone" or "smash" you. And please cease sending me creepy PMs soliciting pics of my dong. I am more than just a fetish, so before you write something like that, ask yourself, "Would Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly send this PM?"
The two of us