34San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.
What I’m doing with my life
Engaging in bacchanalia, whenever and wherever I can. Thinking about how much fun it is for others when they're hanging out with me. Not wasting a second of it. Actually, that's not true, I'm doing that right now.

But in all honesty, I'm a third-year law student/bartender.
I’m really good at
Cavorting. Gallivanting. Napping. Going on larks. Using big fancy words when normal ones will suffice.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm much cuter in person. And I smell amazing! Like freshly cut grass after a summer rain, the end of a rainbow, or Richard Grieco in his prime.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: They're like the internet, but made of trees.
Anything by Hemingway, Jonathan Swift, or Oscar Wilde. Shakespeare. The Master and Margarita. Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret.

TV: Curb, Flight of the Conchords, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Mr. Show (very underrated), The Wire, My Little Pony

Food: Anything that makes my skin glow.
Six things I could never do without
My pups, my Jeep, the vast and mysterious ocean, my collection of books (how else would people know I'm smart), and last but not least, really good Whiskey
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who is smarter...Jesus or Buddha. I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
On a typical Friday night I am
Perusing the local bookstore, or getting really drunk. Or both. Usually both. Except for the bookstore part.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze.

Also, I read The Federalist Papers for fun. I'm kind of obsessed with American history.
You should message me if
You have a devil-may-care attitude, and are carefree. And you like mischief;)
The two of us