josh_in_astoria
33 Miami, United States
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josh_in_astoria
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My self-summary
on two separate occasions this site suggested me as a match for myself. so i finally figured i'd give myself a shot. things didn't work out, so we broke up. it wasn't pretty. but now i'm back, giving this crazy site another go.

i'd love to meet someone who wants to go grab a cup of coffee, sit out in the park, wander around aimlessly*...something that involves conversation and getting to know one another. no sparks? let's be friends. date #2? even better.

sometimes i can be a little on the shy/quiet side at first, but that usually melts away pretty quickly, especially with someone i feel a connection with, romantic or otherwise. and then you can't shut me up. go ahead. just try to.

i'm random & sarcastic and make appropriate jokes at inappropriate times, and inappropriate jokes at appropriate times. i'm kind of a dork and i appreciate other dorks. (anyone up for a bsg or doctor who marathong? buffy, perhaps?) i love an afternoon/evening of netflix and chill, but where it actually means chilling while watching netflix.

*this will not happen on hot summer days because i am canadian-blooded and summer makes me melt.
What I’m doing with my life
after close to seven years of living in nyc, i moved to miami, where i've been for just about three years now. after dabbling in public relations for a bit, i returned to my true passion: publishing.
I’m really good at
- being inappropriate
- making people laugh
- listening/giving advice
- speaking with a minnesotan accent (this is a skill that is under-appreciated but has proven to be pivotal in getting me to where i am in life*)
- i also really enjoy purposely misspelling like-sounding words. (czech instead of check; thyme instead of time; suite instead of sweet...you get the idea.) completely unrelated to this, i can't figure out why i'm single.

* no it hasn't been
The first things people usually notice about me
my slightly crooked smile & super snappy outfits
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
books: the dune series, his dark materials trilogy, hunger games trilogy, jane eyre, great expectations, dracula, grapes of wrath, to kill a mockingbird, wicked, prayers for bobby, possible side effects, the great gatsby, a child called it, the jungle, oliver twist, my horizontal life, bossypants

music: i'm sorta all over the place here, but have a special place in my heart for shitty (read: awesome) pop music. leave me alone.

tv: game of thrones, spartacus, 4400, mad men, under the dome, how to get away with murder, between, good girl revolt, catastrophe, carnivale, mozart in the jungle, the man in the high castle, mr. robot, quantico, supergirl, bates motel, stranger things, torchwood, bloodline, american horror story, the flash, arrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, haven, organge is the new black, skins, power rangers (yeah, so what?), black mirror, dark matter, battlestar galactica, dr. who (bbc revival), buffy, angel, true blood (y'know, except for the last 2 seasons), gossip girl, falling skies, i love lucy, the simpsons, will & grace, desperate housewives, weeds, top chef, chopped, hell's kitchen, master chef

i maybe possibly watch too much tv. sue me.

movies: clueless, mean girls, citizen kane, run lola run, monster, cloverfield, a dirty shame, brokedown palace, go, memento, shattered glass, girl interrupted, america's sweethearts, party girl, beaches, dune (the syfy remake, not the lynch garbage), children of dune, battle royale, devil wears prada, prometheus

food: i'm pretty adventurous with food, and will try just about anything once. (to date, duck tongue is probably one of the strangest so far.) day to day, i'm especially fond of mexican, thai, and italian. would love to meet someone to introduce me to things i've never tried before.
The six things I could never do without
1. friends & family
2. my phone
3. netflix instant
4. ties. both of the regular & the bow persuasion.
5. fans. both the adoring crowds cheering for me and electronic wind-making kind. it's hard for me to fall asleep without the latter.
6. my cats. leave me alone. i'm not a recluse. (i'm sort of a recluse.) i keep adopting strays, so i'm well on my way toward becoming a bonafide spinster. isn't that appealing?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how cool it would be to have superpowers. lots of them. god-like superpowers. i don't like to limit myself and if you think that's a bad thing, i shall smite you.*

*smiting will occur upon acquisition of said god-like superpowers. please be patient.
On a typical Friday night I am
it depends. while i do love a good night out on the town, i can also be a bit of a homebody, and i'm okay with that. though i admit: it'd be nice to have someone to be a homebody with. my ideal night "out" is actually a night in, cooking (or ordering, whatever) a delish meal and watching a good (or awesomely bad) movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" drive me crazy. this also applies to: there, they're, and their; and to, too, and two. i will point it out if you misuse any of them, and you will probably get annoyed, but i will continue to do so. sorrynotsorry.
You should message me if
- you read my profile and laughed. or smiled. or thought about laughing but couldn't because you were in public and you didn't want people to think you were crazy and/or drunk.
- you've got a good head on your shoulders and you're smart. (but not too smart; i don't want you to make me look stupid.) also, if you know how to just let loose (take your top off and shake your twins!), that sure would be swell.
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