32Middletown, United States
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My self-summary
Straight guys, please pay attention. Don't bother messaging me. I'm not into guys, and have no particular desire to chat with you. Please stop trying so hard.

I am a gay. I am neither butch nor femme, but I am really freaking awkward.

I think religion is kinda silly.

While I enjoy LOLspeak, I can't take people seriously when they type poorly. We're all entitled to typos. Just don't type like a 12-year-old or an idiot frat boy.

I'm a proud feminist, and I do not respect people who say things like, "I'm not a feminist, but..." If you enjoy women having rights, be a fucking feminist.

I'm pretty big on the monogamy thing. Or maybe, all things considered, "monamory"? I dunno. But I don't do polyamory or open relationships or all that. I'll try not to judge others who do (even though I will be admittedly skeptical) but my own emotional and mental wellbeing dictates that I refrain.

If you don't understand things like irony or sarcasm, then we probably won't be talking for too long.

I'm not even remotely as cocky as the above may make me sound. Online, it's easy to be full of false bravado. :P I'm really a shy nerd. No, really.

Oh, also? I'm jtheawesome, for any Quickmatchers out there.

I am awkward, awesome, and leet
What I’m doing with my life
I'm (gainfully?) employed! Processing other people's retirement contributions isn't exactly what I pictured doing with my English degree, but it pays and I generally don't mind doing it. So I guess that's pretty good, really.
I’m really good at
Wasting time! Oh man, do I ever know how to use the internet to distract myself from doing things.

Also - bringing limitless joy into the lives of others by the sheer virtue of my existence. :D
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am awkward and weird, I guess. I usually feel like they can tell I'm a gay, too, but I guess I just assume that it's obvious to others as it is to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books! A relatively recent favorite is John Gardner's Grendel. While I feel like it should have long ago been a part of my curriculum, I have to thank HeavensCalyx for turning me me on to it. Neither Beowulf nor metaphysics will be the same for this former English major.

A few other books that were very memorable for me are Fingersmith by Sarah Waters, Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and the His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman.

Visual Media! I just recently got into this whole "Netflix" craze that the kids are into these days. I just watched (and loved) House of Yes, and next on my list is American Psycho. I like dark humor!

Speaking of dark humor, I've recently gotten into the former Showtime gem Dead Like Me. Love it. I might just have to marry Ellen Muth someday. Some other TV shows I enjoy include The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Planet Earth, MythBusters, and Dog Whisperer. I used to loooove Daria back when it was on MTV. I used to watch Xena: Warrior Princess religiously, for the exact reason one might expect.

I also enjoy watching video games. Not even necessarily playing them. And, um. I do like searching for clips of lesbian movie scenes on YouTube sometimes. :P

Music! I enjoy a lot of the alternative rock from the mid- to late-90s. I haven't really kept up with the current music scene so much, in part because my radio is a piece of shit. I tend to enjoy individual songs more than specific bands, but the one band I do follow persistently is Cake. Does anyone even know who they are?

Foods! Anything with garlic. Mmmmmmmm, garlic.
Six things I could never do without
1. Holy shit, chapstick. I am so addicted to chapstick.

2. The intertubes!

3. Positive reinforcement by means of cuddles.

4. Oh, my family and friends or some shit like that. :D

5. Garlic.

6. MOAR CHAPSTICK!!! *reapplies in earnest*
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Getting my "PhD in Horribleness."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
You should message me if
...you have a wry, witty sense of humor.

...you have a firm grasp on spelling and grammar.

...you are not a straight male looking for sex, or to "watch." You may kindly go fuck yourself.
The two of us