30London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
This is where i state a collection of 'random facts about me' that carefully orchestrate an image of an 'eccentric intellectual' with a penchant for the vanilla absurd, you fall madly in love with a ridiculous persona no more accurate a depiction of who i actually am than the self indulgent crap written on your profile. and we run off into some wanky vintage filtered sunset you saw in Vice article and eat free range carrot cake and talk about obscure tea and your variable gluten intolerance?

i struggle to adapt to modern life and people drive me to drink (whisky not fucking tea)

Don't worry I read the guardian, have some resemblance of a social life, a job and a relatively accurate tax code. What's more i wear skinny jeans and can quote Satre in French.

smitten yet?

thought so, lets go get drunk make small talk and spend two hours trying to ascertain whether the other is the type to own a sex dungeon and whether or not we are in fact OK with that.

DISCLAIMER: I'm terrible at small talk you'll get mostly sarcasm apathy and political nihilism interspersed with tequila and swearing.

What I’m doing with my life
making sedatives palatable.
making poor decisions.
making up for the previously mentioned poor decisions.
I’m really good at
Justifying sicophantic dogma through verbose dellusional pros,

table tennis and typos
The first things people usually notice about me
my sunny disposition
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a prolific lecturer at Cambridge university once said all creative human exploit was just an attempt to get laid....
personally i don't think he understood my motivation for writing a 6 page ode to megabus whilst travelling from London to Glasgow.
Six things I could never do without
Im a sucker for nature so:

malted barley

not in that order!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
excuses and food
On a typical Friday night I am
pouring you bastards drinks
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The voices in my head are the shipping forecast and incorrect crossword answers.
You should message me if
You need more satirical nonsense and well stirred martinis in your life,
The two of us