justjoshb
35Conroe, United States
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justjoshb
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My self-summary
It had been raining earlier that night. But when it happened the storm had wound its way down to a light drizzle. The roads were wet but i didn't care.
Being drunk tends to do that. Muting ones inhibitions while simultaneously stoking ones ability to make bad decisions. So there i was. Texting and driving after a rain storm. On slick roads. Totally shitfaced. Not my most responsible moment. This chick I'd been messaging back and forth on OKCupid had just sent me something that made me laugh. She was clever, that one. Anyway, as i looked up from the bright screen to make sure i wasn't heading off the road and into my friend's neighbor's yard, it happened. Something had come from behind a tree that was close the the road, and stumbled in front of my car before i could even swerve. Much less, stop. I heard my tires roll over it. I felt the snap and pop of rending flesh and bone. I rolled to a stop in a daze not far from it. It wasn't and animal. Animals don't wear clothes. But it took my intoxicated brain a while to to work out what was so strange and horrifying about it. It was small. Like, "not adult" small. Like, kid small. I looked into the rear view dreading what i knew i would see laying sprawled on the pavement. But i saw only wet road. Still looking through the mirror on the street behind me, i grabbed the door handle and pulled. Where did it go? I turned my head toward the driver's side in preparation to get out, and it was right there. A small human form in silhouette standing right beside the door. It looked like a little girl. Maybe 10 or 11. The only difference was the blood. And the body twisted in an unnatural way from the trauma of being run over.
Oh, and the glowing red eyes! It just stared. Breathing in a raspy, gurgling rattle. I was frozen in place out of fear. I'd just ran over, what i can only assume was, some kind of indestructible, no-pain-feeling, nocturnal child-demon. And it was just standing there. Waiting. I didn't know what to do. Or what to say. Or what it wanted. So i did the only thing could think of. I rolled the window down just enough to talk and said, "Hey wanna hear a joke? Why did the drunk driver run over the demon possessed little girl?" No response. "Because the power of Christ compelled him!" And then i laughed. I mean, really laughed. Hard. I mean, why not. The whole situation was horrifically, maddeningly, tragically hilarious. It turned into an insane laughter. Hysterical. I closed my eyes and waited for what came next while involuntarily giggling and gibbering. It went on for a while. I'm not sure how long. The foggy insanity cleared and i could feel my throat was raw. My abs sore. My whole body ached from laughing. I opened my eyes. The sun was starting to turn the horizon a deep purple. I slowly turned my head to face the window expecting to see the last thing i would ever see. The demon girl in the brightening morning twilight. But she wasn't there. I looked behind me. Checked the mirrors. Turned and shifted every which way to see every inch i could around the car from the driver's seat. She'd vanished. The only thing was a word written in the condensation on the windshield. But from the inside. It said, "lol"
What I’m doing with my life
What are you doing with YOUR life?
I’m really good at
being good at stuff I'm good at
The first things people usually notice about me
They say, "hey, isn't that that guy?"
To which their friend says, "yeah, he's weird."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books about movies about shows about musical food.
Six things I could never do without
The blood of my enemies. X's 6
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Breaking the law...
...s of physics
On a typical Friday night I am
Josh
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I exist
You should message me if
you get it
More
The two of us
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Lifestyle
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Other
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Ethics
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Sex
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