27Huntsville, United States
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My self-summary
IG: kthln_cny

My name is Kathleen.
Send me a message or something.
I apologize if I don't or haven't gotten back to you.
I've been super busy.

Here's ALL THE stuff about me:

Hint: If you are a dude interested in dating me, I recommend you read the long version. :)

I am a very unique person, as well as an ENFP Myers-Briggs Personality Type. (According to them, my best match would be an INTJ, if you are into that sort of thing. Also, I'm an Aries, and in my journey of self-discovery, I have found that astrology holds more power than I had previously ever given it credit for.)

Anyways...I have many tattoos and piercings, and I am willing to try anything once. I am here looking to make friends and/or find a long-term relationship. I don't want casual sex. So don't ask.

Sometimes my favorite thing to do is to just curl up on the couch and watch the worst B-rated cult movie Netflix has to offer. I like to go out and have fun on a Saturday night just as much as I like to geek out, stay home with a group of friends in someone's basement and play a table-top RPG. I also like to buy cheese with weird names from the grocery store with a bottle of sparkling wine; then pretend to be classy while cuddling and watching horror movies.

I consider myself to have a pretty wicked and inappropriate sense of humor. Send me a joke, or your worst pick-up line. I like sarcasm and dirty jokes just as much as the next guy; however, I can be shy at first in person. I'll admit to some awkward social anxiety. I don't open up right away unless I feel a real connection with you. I don't think chivalry is dead. I want to find a nice honest person to love. I have standards. And I will hold you to them. But once you get to know me, I'm pretty much an open book and I'm completely laid back. Not to say; however, that when you first meet me, I will quickly babble incoherent nonsense out of nervousness. <<That will most likely happen.

I'm an unusual fish. I'm a traditional southern woman, in my belief of gender roles and dating to an extent, but I'm still an "f" word - a feminist. I believe, MY man should ask me out and be head of household when we first begin dating. So, that means I prefer it if you send the first message, ask me on the date, ask for my number, make the plans.... etc. I believe in gender equality, and the right for women to do all of these things, though. Just me, personally, I fantasize about being in that classic romance. I want that classic courtship, not modern dating. I want to be the girl that was chased after. Be the one you had to go get, no matter what. I think I believe in a little bit more old-fashioned and wholesome relationships than most people my age do, at this time in history. (Perhaps, I just read a few too many Jane Austen novels, and these are now completely unrealistic goals...?) So, I don't do one night stands. I don't hook-up. Don't try to change my mind. You will just make me angry and lose my respect.

But, after a few weeks or months of dating, and trust is established, we should both cook and clean. We should both make money and spend money. We should stay up all night, and sleep all day. In every great relationship, people are partners and equals. But I want you to win me over like a gentleman to begin with. :)

(On a related, relevant note:
I am trying to find myself and better myself everyday. I have my orientation set to "bisexual". I believe in healthy love. It doesn't matter what gender you are to me. If you have a beautiful personality and core being, that's what's important to me.
I do not have much experience in female relationships, though.
I still want a classic courtship. I still want a wholesome relationship. But, I'm more open as to what that entails with my own sex, I suppose, because I don't have any pre-set expectations. Really just happiness...

When you get a message from me, (if you get one), you may notice, I don't do boring "Hey, was sup?" introductory messages. I believe these profiles serve a purpose and I will try to connect to your interests. Many times, I have discovered people find this approach socially awkward, however. But, I try to send messages that actually talk about something we have in common on both of our profiles, or that is in your "Message Me If:" section.

On that note:

I will not answer messages that just say something like, "Yo, homie." I actually expect you to have read my profile and have something to talk to me about, if you bother to message me, a paragraph or longer would be preferred. I would not message you something short like that if I was actually interested in you, and I expect the same.

Also, as a precautionary warning, offensive messages will not be replied to or tolerated either. Depending on the variance of how offensive they are, do not be surprised if they end up screen-capped on a blog shaming you such as: "OkCupid Fails" or "Straight White Boys Texting." I will not be objectified sexually, and if I am, prepare to be equally so. Fair warning: I take screen-caps of everything, and I show no mercy.

Things important to me and that I expect:
- Manners
>>>I may not be much of one, but I am a lady and I still expect to be treated like one.
- Intellectual Conversation
>>>Intelligence is a pretty big deal. One of the most important traits in a partner.
- No hunting/dead animals in your photos
>>> I know I live in Alabama and all, but I mean, I have an endangered species tattoo sleeve. I have a no tolerance policy when it comes to animal cruelty, dead animal photographs, hunting, etc.
- Empathy
>>>Walk in my shoes, and I'll walk in your's.
- Open-Mindedness
>>>I love debating and having discussions about politics, religions, sports, philosophy.... anything you can argue about. But if at the end of the day, if you can't respect me and my opinion, I don't know how I'm supposed to respect you, period.
What I’m doing with my life
I just finished getting my phlebotomy license. I need to get a job now. I then plan on going back to college, and making things happen for myself.

In the past, I went to college for almost 6 years. I changed majors a million times, and was not ever able to make up my mind. I have a lot of interests and talents, but I am a horrible decision maker. I have gathered more than enough credits to have graduated, but there's so many things I want to do, and at the same time, nothing I want to commit to.

My past majors have been:
Forestry and Wildlife Management
Fine Arts (Drawing and Painting)
Associates in Mechanical Drafting

Recently, I have made some life decisions, including finally admitting that the college degree I want and need for my dream job is not located anywhere that I could easily go or afford. (Or even in this country.) I am getting back on my feet from health issues, as well. I am working on becoming an endangered wildlife rehabilitator, specializing in bats, and getting my own place. My progress is slow and steady.
I’m really good at
--Making situations awkward
--Embarrassing people in public
--Embarrassing myself in public
--Crafting things
--Challenging authority
--Geeking out about things that normal people find boring
--Right-brain sided activities
--Making mixed drinks
--Training and communicating with animals
--Scaring little kids
--Being equally freaked out by little kids
--Staying up all night, and sleeping all day
--Coming up with really bad comic book ideas
>>>(But hey, who saw the TMNT being a success?)
--Arranging flowers
--Throwing parties no one goes to
--Judging food (Foodie!)
--Hoarding stuff and attaching sentimental value to everything
--Finding the positive in everyone
--Being loyal to a fault
--Wasting time online
--Putting trust in people who don't deserve it

Need I go on? How can you not be head over heels for me already with all those amazing qualities?! LMAO
The first things people usually notice about me
My endangered species sleeve covering my right arm, my Cthulhu chest piece, and hair that constantly changes style and rainbow colors.

A lot of people also say I have a really good smile.

And girls seem to notice the odd handbags I carry, as well as the unusual shoes I wear.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Harry Potter Series, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Greene, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, Devil in the White City...
Authors: Anne Rice, Ellen Hopkins, Jane Austen, Brenda Joyce, H.P. Lovecraft, Daniel Pinkwater, Edgar Allen Poe, Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, and many more that I cannot think of at the moment...
Also love: Random Manga, Calvin and Hobbes, Peanuts, Vampire Hunter D graphic novels...
Non-fiction books on: religion, psychology, dreams, history, criminology, art history, and biographies
(I also have an alarmingly huge non-fiction and historical fiction collection of material about Anne Frank, which I am quite fond of.)

Movies: Too many to count. I like most all movies except for Rom-Coms with cheesy Hollywood, happily-ever-after, endings. (Unless it is a Heath Ledger movie like "10 Things I Hate About You" or "A Knight's Tale"....) I'll watch most anything, though. I'm really on a kick right now of BAD movies. Like 2 star rating or lower on Netflix. I like really really good movies, and really really bad movies. There is just nothing memorable about a mediocre movie. And the best type of movies are the ones that make you think.

Desert Island Movies:
Donnie Darko
Fight Club
The Ninth Gate
American Beauty
Howl's Moving Castle
Edward Scissorhands
The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Also, if you like Miyazaki movies there is a special place for you in my heart already. :)

Shows: Some Anime (It depends. Madoka Magica and Chobits are my top two favorites at the moment.)

(((On that related note: One of my biggest pet peeves in the whole world is when someone says, "Do you like anime?" And I'm like, "Yes!" I'm all stupid, excited, and giddy, so I start naming off great titles that I love. Then they are like, "Oh... I meant like Naruto, or Bleach..." Then things get really awkward.
I think there is a special circle of hell for people who do that to someone who is naming off currently streaming titles in Japan excitedly... or people who watch what they consider anime on Nickelodeon and call themselves genuine anime fans!!!)))

Anyways, carrying on, Television: The Office, Deadliest Catch, Craft Wars, Say Yes to the Dress, Investigation Discovery and all the real life crime shows that come on, I've seen all the episodes of Law and Order: Criminal Intent and Law and Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, Murder in the First, Workaholics, Tosh.0, Wilfred, Broad City, Louis, Stand up comedy by multiple comics, Drunk History, New Girl, House of Cards, The Whitest Kids U Know, The Good Wife, Modern Family, Mixology (before those bastards cancelled it!), Arrested Development, @Midnight, The Walking Dead, and American Horror Story

Just an awkward side note here on actors and who I like/people I admire:

Evan Peters (American Horror Story and X-men) is my idea of a perfect man. He is the perfect combination of Kurt Cobain and Malcom McDowell, with a sense of humor and a nerdy side. I will accept Tom Felton (Harry Potter, Murder in the First, Planet of the Apes), Matthew Lewis (Harry Potter), and Chris Hardwick (Nerdist Network, @midnight, Web Soup) as other "perfect men" candidates that are acceptable. Heath Ledger was flawless and nobody can reach his level ever again. Joesph Gordon Levitt is a fledgling Heath Ledger who is getting to that level, and, I will probably, (realistically), be one of those gross, old, cat ladies, in my elderly years that buy magazines in the checkout line when he is on the cover of them, like those women do with Clooney now.

As for women: Emma Watson (Harry Potter, Perks of Being a Wallflower, This is the End, Noah, etc.) is at a flawless unreachable level, Evanna Lynch... (Harry Potter) I can't decide if I rather be her or marry her, Hannah Hart (comedian) is probably my favorite lesbian, while Taissa Farmiga (American Horror Story) makes me sad that she and Evan Peters are not together, but I'm willing to have either of them to myself, and Jennifer Lawrence (basically everything)... who doesn't love J-Law?!

Also my perfect relationship would be like Claire/Phil on Modern Family or Michael/Holly on The Office.

Music: I have a very broad range of music taste. I like most anything except for country, but I can appreciate that if it is done with talent. (I have soft spots for Johnny Cash and Shania Twain.)

I usually listen to post-hardcore, punk, indie, alternative, indie-electronica, EDM, post-punk, 90's alternative, emo, or mashups and covers.

In a partner, I definitely want someone I can discuss new albums and artists with. I want to go to a bunch of concerts and events together. It would be great if we could make playlists for each other, and share music that the other one hasn't heard of. Music is such a major part of my life. Over my lifetime I have played multiple instruments, but I have never had the patience to master one. I really just love jamming out to music and finding new acts to dub as "good" music and spread the word about.

Food: I like to try different foods. I'll try anything once. I love different types of Hispanic food, Asian food, really anything. However, I'm not a big fan of just hamburgers, hot dogs, or fast food. Oh, and I would have to say my favorite food is fresh seafood at the beach. Wait, scratch that, my favorite food, is cheese. Normal girls go on a trip to Minnesota, and spend their savings at the Mall of America. THIS girl went on a trip to Minnesota and spent all of her savings on cheese curds and Wisconsin gourmet cheese. (I'm weird. I know.)

But cheesecake.... That is my Kryptonite. That would be my apple in Eden. Cheesecake and I are tight.

I would ideally like to become a vegan. I am very pro environmentalist and very active in animal rights. However in the part of the country in which I live currently, it is rare that you find a vegetarian entree on the menu other than a salad. Things like vegan cheese and chocolate are unheard of down here. I try my best to eat local and organic food if I can. And... I can't end my relationship with cheesecake right now. It would be super tragic for everyone involved.
Six things I could never do without
Ok, I hate it when people put very obvious things here like: Air, food, shelter....DUH. Assuming all of my basic needs are met here are my 6 things:

1. Wi-fi and Apple products
>>>I'm going to lump these together because I could never use anything PC made because I am too stupid to figure out how to operate it without killing it with viruses, and using a PC mouse is virtually impossible after using a Mac mouse since the dawn of technology. And of course wi-fi because I might actually have to go outside if there was not any internet. (Please people, this is sarcasm. I do like the outdoors... some of the time.)
2. My dog, my cat, and animals
>>>Unconditionally loving and awesome. Needs no explanation. Way nicer than people 99.9% of always. And, literally, the human race would not survive without animals. (Disclaimer: The unconditionally loving and always nice part does not equally include my cat. He can be a dick, no lie!)
3. Ability to express myself
>>>Whether it be through my new hair color, tattoos, something I crochet, or music I sing along and dance to in my car...I cannot live without my ability to express myself.
4. Caffeine
>>>I'm pretty sure I actually do NEED that at this point, or I would be like in withdrawal, sadly enough.
5. Friends and Family
>>>I'm pretty sure human and social interactions counts as one of the basic needs, but just in case, I definitely need them!
6. Humor
>>>Life isn't easy. Without humor, even my self-depreciating kind, it would be pretty miserable. The ability to laugh at myself and at others, with others, gets me through everyday.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think about weird questions that bother me:

Can a person lose intelligence? Have I lost a bunch of mine?

What if I did certain things differently, where would I be right now?

The person I am supposed to be with is out there in this world, right now, this minute. Is he on this site? Do I already know him? What if I missed him because I made some sort of choice differently than I was supposed to... So he and I are living happily ever after in a parallel universe, but I will never meet him in this one...? Oh, the stress!

Not only, do I stress about parallel universes, but what about other dimensions and future dystopian societies? I have a lot of weird predictions for the future that I have made.... educated guesses and assumptions... something to stress out about before falling asleep.

If there is a God, and we are his pawns, who's pawn is he?

Are we all part of a master program? Do I really have the free will I am lead to believe I have? Am I really on an alien reality tv show? What about the Matrix? Red pill or blue pill?

Stealing this one from a friend:
If only the good die young, are my grandparents evil?!

Wtf, math?! Just go home, math! No!
On a typical Friday night I am
There are no typical Friday nights anymore. Used to this just said, "going out with friends". Well, lately that has been the case a few times. Sometimes I just hang out at home and watch netflix or surf the web. Sometimes I go to the bar with my aunt and her friends. Sometimes I stay up all night talking on the phone to long distance pen-pals. Sometimes I act like its Friday on Tuesday.

Days of the week are irrelevant to me. I do what I want, when I want. Society's schedule has no effect on me.

Unless I have to work.... then society sucks...

But to be honest, I usually don't know what day of the week it is.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't know. I'm a huge geek. I love everything childish. I have never successfully played a video game or owned any sort of console, though. I always get messages about video games because I am a geeky girl, and love geeky, childish things, however. And I really like geeky, gamer guys, so don't let that discourage you. I just think it is embarrassing that I get labeled as a geeky girl, etc., but I can't play video games to save my life, because that goes against everything else I am about and into.

I also get annoyed every time I meet someone and they say they are going to "teach me" how to play video games.

I'm beyond that point. I like playing games on the Wii, like Mario Cart or Bowling, but if you want to, or think you can, teach me how to use a traditional controller on an XBOX or a Playstation, it will just cause problems.

I don't have the proper eye-hand coordination for that. I find it frustrating and people always get frustrated with how unbelievably terrible I actually am. I use my hands for other things, like crafts and blogs. I don't have the money or time to invest in video games. My life is fulfilling without them.

However, if you are good at them and passionate about them, more power to you. People who have hobbies and passions are always more attractive.
You should message me if
-You think owls and large birds of prey are cool
-You love bats, bugs, and creepy crawlies
-You think curvy chicks with lots of tattoos are hot
-You want to have an intellectual conversation
-You are also mostly nocturnal
-You have a funny joke or story to tell
-We have things in common
-You can write at least a paragraph for a message
-You're more old-fashioned
-You don't take life seriously.
-Sarcasm and cheesy jokes told by a nerdy chick sounds like a good idea.
-It's late at night, you're bored, and I'm online.
-You understand some of my weird thoughts that I "think about a lot" and can explain them
-You bothered to read at least 40% of my enormous and continually growing profile *high five*
-You have a large enemy percent and want to become my nemesis
-You have a sexy foreign accent and you want to call me or Skype me so I can hear it and make fun of/dote on you.
-You just want to talk
-You know the answers to life's greatest mysteries
-You have an opinion about my favorite books/movies/tv shows/music/Spotify and you want to tell me about it
The two of us