46 Ellicott City, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I am vanilla. I've come fully to terms with that.

Vanilla hangs with strawberry & chocolate in the Neapolitan container and even occasionally swirls with a range of other flavors, but still remains vanilla, balancing those other flavors rather well.

Similarly, I tend to mix and balance among a variety of flavored communities, and yet I remain confident in my basic vanilla nature.

Lots of people speak of vanilla in disparaging terms as boring or plain. And I do understand how that can be said by those who have only experienced artificial vanilla flavoring in cheap imitation ice cream. But consider true vanilla.

Vanilla comes from the fruit of an orchid grown only in tropical climates. The flower is sexually self-contained -- not needing anyone to pollinate properly. It only accepts pollination naturally from a very specific breed of bee. However, under the right conditions, this flower allows for outside artificial pollination.

As for my version of vanilla?

Mainly I focus on being the richest, creamiest, full-bodied, most decadently flavorful vanilla there is. All home-churned.


I was once told that a person could never really understand me who doesn't speak fluent metaphor.

You know, it's hard to explain metaphors to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.


I am seeking a consistent relationship with a non-promiscuous strong man with solid ethics and a healthy libido. Several would be better.

This woman is longing to fill her life with confident, passionate, imaginative, and self-assured people. If you can balance this with a penchant for energy interaction, personal development and the like...

Wow! You're likely to capture my heart and soul.

I click into sexual overdrive with some people, and I need that. However, most relationships fade or settle into a good friendship, and that's OK.


I am articulate, intuitive, and direct.

What I’m doing with my life
When I was growing up, I always wanted to be somebody.
I see now I should have been more specific.


In short:
I am continuing to build clientele for my bodywork practice, and building content for my website.


The longer story:
I am a highly skilled licensed massage therapist who uses concepts from neuro-kinetics, Asian meridian theory and energy medicine to promote lasting results. Everyone feels good right after a massage; most massage results don't last an entire week. A series of sessions with me can last a lifetime.

I like working with musicians and rock climbers, who always seem to have tight hands and forearms. Lately, I've been focusing on unwinding tension from the shoulders and necks of computer professionals. Interestingly, many headaches just disappear and hands become unclenched. Office worker clientele also wish to later avoid the "turtle neck" look.

You know that look. It's from leaning the head down over the years such that the shoulders hunch and the neck pushes forward, forcing the person to pick up their head using their topmost vertebrae in order to see anything but their feet. Working in the Baltimore-DC corridor, there are plenty of people developing that chronic tension and habitual body posture.

My task is set before me.

In June, I completed a certification course, qualifying me to join the National Guild of Hypnotists. Hypno-massage is my next big thing. I bring my clients into a trance state with me and real magic happens.


I have a physics degree; I taught math, science, computer technology and problem solving for years. That choice was all about stepping up, using my talents to help alleviate the social crisis of math & science teacher shortages.

Now I am constructing my dream life.

I’m really good at
helping people to feel good in their bodies and to feel good about themselves in general.

When you have my full attention, it's as if nobody else exists. I'll dive as deep into you as you let me. This is wonderful for some people, and puts off others.

I'm good at making up solid logical reasoning behind my intuitive leaps. I'm also really good at intuitive leaps.


“People with interesting lives have no vanity. They swap cities. Invest in projects with no guarantees. Are interested in people who are their polar opposites. Resign without having another job in sight. Accept invitations to do things they have never done before. Are prepared to change their favorite color, their favorite dish. They start from zero countless times. They are not frightened about growing old. They climb on stage, shear their hair, do crazy things for love, and buy one way tickets."

– Gio Sguario (Translated from Portuguese)

I strive to have an interesting life, and to teach my teenagers to make interesting life choices. However, I do also see how "May you live in interesting times," sometimes really does feel like a curse.

Last year I was awarded full-time physical & legal custody of my children. The fight has left me feeling battle-worn in ways that still challenge me.

The first things people usually notice about me
I'm pretty, but I'm not especially beautiful, although some people do say I'm easy on the eyes. I do have have longish light brown hair, pale, soft smooth skin, and compelling baby blues. I have a soft, expert touch that has people melt into my hands.

My winning smile, warm voice and wit can have you wondering what I have in mind when I conversationally skirt the edge of ambiguity. Sometimes I say or write something random just to see if you're paying attention. There is a slim line between dead serious and hilariously deadpan funny.

Occasionally, I wonder whether I am a closeted intellectual snob.

Because of my build, I will never be thin enough for men who demand thinness. Neither am I fat enough for men who love BBW. I am strong, with a muscular core, covered in softness.*

*update: I've been ill and have lost significant strength. But now rebounding.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My Favorite Things:
lazy mornings with breakfast in bed, deep massage, intimate connection, a wood sauna next to a cool lake , skinny-dipping, snowy hot tub with ice cream, cherishing & being cherished, freshly baked bread, roller coasters, those really huge wobbly soap bubbles, dangerously high heels, a stormy beach, unabashed sensualism, surprises, inspiring music, cold hands on a warm belly, a moist soft mouth that is as luscious to listen to as it is to kiss (kinda like mine), POC, emotionally challenging conversations, 3D movies, whispering together at night, having my gas pumped, dollar coins & two-dollar bills, friendly check-out clerks, an imaginative muse, bonfires, girl power, Mensa, drumming, fire poi, flying kites at night, well-seasoned cast iron frying pans, juke boxes, lifelong learning, the scent of my lover...


gotta feed my hunger for
practical learning and new ideas.

inspiring good conversation
or great entertainment.
love 3D, IMAX & drive-in experiences.

misty-eyed ballads,
Americana circa 1930's,
world music,
smooth jazz (not hot jazz),
blues, funk, punk,
any music that inspires me to move, and
songs sung to me from the heart.

spicy, flavorful, aromatic
food cooked with love --
for me, with me, or by me.

I've loved Saffire, the Uppity Blues Women since this first song on their first album was played for me:
The six things I could never do without






I spend a lot of time thinking about
I am all about living passion with a high degree of personal responsibility. There is little room in my life for unproductive drama. What that means is I'm willing to have difficult conversations that can feel challenging in the moment, but only if there is likely productive outcome.


How many excellent lovers is ideal?

On a typical Friday night I am
At home alone,
Watching my telephone,
Waiting for it to ring...

Which is odd
Because it's a cell phone,
So I could be anywhere.

And I am.

Try calling me on a Friday night.

I'd invariably say
I'm at home alone,
Pining for your call.

Believe it if you want to.


If you are really wondering what I do on a Friday night, consider taking me out to see where I go.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I had posted a fairly long poem called "The Invitation" by Oriana Mountain Dreamer, but I think it's best to have mostly my own writing posted. Here is an interesting YouTube rendition of that:

I am actually born the year of the Tiger - not 1970.


Um, I am an Enneagram 8, if that means anything to you. We 8's have a thing about appearing weak, and also strive to do things well. We are excellent dominants.

Practicing vulnerability has been a conundrum. I feel compelled to take these challenges head-on.

You should message me if
you admire & aspire to some of these qualities:
physically strong,
emotionally grounded,
have time to build a friendship,
prefer kind & ethical to being nice,
enjoy sharing activities and interests,
more than 88% match & less than 8% enemy,
fluent in energy play, yet don't take it too seriously.


Here is how to have a positive response from me:

=> Write something funny or sweet.
=> Describe what it is that has you never bored with yourself.
=> Address availability issues -- temporal & geographic.
=> If you are married/attached, get permission first.
=> Remember that I already have teenagers, so be an adult.