lastnoblebeast
27 Jonesville, United States
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lastnoblebeast
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My self-summary
what am I looking for...... That's a good question, a quick answer would be "someone funny attractive, sexy and well built" but that's wrong. It's ill considered, given my appearance, would an attractive guy with a well built or athletic body type even find something like me attractive? Would someone with that kind of body type be happy and proud to be with me or be seen with me? Would he take me to meet his friends and family? Most likely not, they'd all be thinking the same thing "why is this obviously attractive and handsome man, with this overweight thing?" That's not the kind of situation I'd like to put anyone in, after thinking about it a lot I have revised things.

What I want and what I need are different, what I need is a man that can do what no one else has been able to do. To accept me for what I am, the real me, and understand what I really am. Understand that the darkness is where I am, and that I'll never leave it for anyone again. That I don't need someone to be "the light in the darkness or the light at the end of the tunnel" I don't need to be rescued from it, and I don't want to be dragged off my path and forced to walk in the light lost. What I need is for someone to walk beside me in my darkness, and understand that the light hurts my eyes.
I need someone to see into me, see my true potential and raw talent. See that I hate how I look but because I can't care about myself, I lack the motivation to work hard for just my sake, I'm worthless. I'd need someone that wouldn't be opposed to looking at my hands and seeing calluses, seeing that I do work hard. And being the motivation for me, then working me hard to attain the body type he'd be proud to be seen with, and work with me to achieve goals. Together we could achieve many things, and build a home together.

Very idealistic and childish I know, and as you'd expect, I've been lied to and betrayed many times by many types of guys. I let them drag me out of my darkness into the blinding light, where I had to try and find my way in a place I had no path, only to get betrayed and left to find my way back. Where I had to find my lost path in the darkness again and again, I've made a small list of the types of guys I'll be avoiding and a brief reason why. Many won't like it and that's fine, I'm not looking for many guys. Just the one I spoke about, and I doubt someone like that would be hindered by it

The things I will not tolerate from anyone are drug use(weed or stronger drugs), alcohol use, cigarettes(a light smoker might be ok), bisexuals(my experience with bi guys were never good, they always lied or cheated), no discreet guys(they acted worse than the bi guys), no straight acting(it's about the same as bi and discreet), no one with kids from a past relationship with a woman(adopted kids are fine), no one that is currently in a relationship or married to someone(that's just drama and lies all over), I'm not personally interested in children as a partner so if you're a teenager it's not gonna work, 24 and older is more ideal but not way older than I am(you need to have a libido if you want to be with me, the older guys I've dated 50-53 left me unsatisfied).

I know many of you wont like that last section, and that's ok. You're allowed not to like things, and I'm allowed to not like the things you like
What I’m doing with my life
Back in sc after being gone for 5 years, landscaping again and working 3rd shift. Planning on blacksmithing "amateur stuff" at some point
I’m really good at
Not getting along with people, it actually surprises me sometimes. Like I just don't get it
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm a huge contradiction, a beautiful contradiction as some have said. Contradictory, hypocritical, all mixed together. That's me, I don't belong anywhere and yet I can blend in like I was always there. I'm very negative depressed but also the most hopeful optimist you'll ever see, I hate pretty much everything and want to just drop dead but I also make everyone laugh and want to be around me. It's pretty strange
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
manga, nature, art, porn although i dont think porn counts as a book of intellectual reading.
syfy, horror, comedy, documentaries, cartoons and yaoi for movies and shows.
salads and certain things
I like a lot of random mismatched music, random songs from all over that I've heard and like from opera to techno
The six things I could never do without
Solitude
Silence
Storms
Redhead eye candy
Sleep
Violence
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I'm so bad at dating guys but yet I'm usually many times better than the guys they've dated. But I guess if you prefer being cheated on and all that you stick with what you know best, sorry about it lol
On a typical Friday night I am
Working then sleeping and working the next night
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't believe in love, I think anyone that compliments me or tries to flatter me is lying, I believe nothing anyone says and I don't trust anyone in general
You should message me if
Message me if you want something more than a temporary relationship, if you're one of the few honor bound guys out there wanting to pledge himself to another man and create something lasting. You let me know, I'll reply as soon as I can.
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