Yes, I dance in my car and I'm really good at it and Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Movies:The Hangover, Old School, Anchorman, Superbad, The Thing, The Departed, Animal House, Fletch, Caddyshack, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Better Off Dead, Sixteen Candles, The God Father, Happy Gilmore, Dumb and Dumber, Raising Arizona, The Pink Panther, National Lampoon’s Animal House, The Blues Brothers, National Lampoon's Vacation, Austin Powers, Wayne's World, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Borat, The Jerk, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Airplane!, This Is Spinal Tap,The Dark Knight, Forrest Gump, The Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, Apocalypse Now, Gladiator, Blade Runner, Who's Line is it Anyway
Music: U2, Boston, Eric Clapton, Led Zeppelin, The Police, The Killers, Billy Idol, Goo Dolls, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Sting, The Who, Van Halen, Coldplay,
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"
When I can't decide what to order at a restaurant I just ask for "whatever is closest to nachos".
But seriously, why would you not choose the low sodium soy sauce?
Men think about sex every 7 seconds. Which is why I eat hot dogs in 6 seconds, so it doesn't get weird.
What the hell is up with "Fun sized" candy? There is nothing fun about less candy.
I figured it out. Renee Zellweger is stuck in the longest oncoming sneeze of all time.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
There should be way more poetry about cheeseburgers.
There are two types of people in the world:
1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm.
Still not sure how to throw away a pizza box.
I end all conference calls with "no you hang up."
There is probably a lot of ATM security camera footage of me rocking the F out.
I wear a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries…and it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
1. Are you a girl
2. Have you aways been a girl
3. If not can you keep a secret....lol
Jk at the end of the day I just want a girl that makes me laugh and vice versa. The sexiest thing is a woman's laugh.
Oh, has anyone seen my car keys? I swear I left them in the bushes.