lawguyjake
26 Kansas City, United States
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lawguyjake
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My self-summary
Please be within 40 miles of Kansas City.

My autobiography will be titled, "Cute, but Kinda Bitchy." Some people find me endearing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lawyer, a former college runner, am mildly addicted to youtube, smile a lot, laugh at inappropriate times, am more attracted to intelligence than beauty (I wanna start a Tumblr called "Hot guys using stupid inspirational quotes"), and I really just want to be FLOTUS (if you don't know what FLOTUS is, we won't get along).

I love a bourgeois vegan/protest/intellectual gay, but who doesn't?

I emphatically do NOT date Republicans.

I am profane. Words that make wide the eyes of people with delicate sensibilities are my weapon of choice. Vulgarity is a linguistic tool; it is dangerous and essential.
What I’m doing with my life
Lawyer. That means I am either really ambitious or really boring...I'll let you decide.

I work for a giant law firm downtown doing super cool diversity and inclusion stuff. Talk to me about why diversity matters to you.
I’m really good at
Finding hilarious YouTube videos.
Running really long races.
Making douchebags aware of their douchebaggery.
The Sims and Pokemon.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my teeth. They're paid for (thanks mom and dad!). Then probably that I ask a lot of questions when I first meet someone (anything is fair game). It's mostly because silence and breaks in conversation make me incredibly anxious. Or maybe it's just the lawyer in me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Rachel Maddow and Melissa Harris-Perry are the two women I could see myself marrying.

Ask me about Protest Literature, Slam Poetry, neo-feminism, affirmative action, or LGBT social politics. Smart guys are hot, too...
The six things I could never do without
My relationships.
Hope for the future.
Words spoken by smart people.
Fresh air.
Democracy.
Trivial shit that makes me sound shallow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The future, equality, justice, freedom, religion.
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting wasted? I mean, how honest are we being?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I pee around the perimeter of the toilet so it doesn't make a splashy sound.
You should message me if
...you are smart and ambitious, if you want to change the world, if you can handle someone who is sometimes brutally honest and probably thinks too highly of himself...

...or if you are bored and think I'm cute or interesting.
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