Periodicals: The Economist, the Atlantic, Harvard Business Review.
Books: The Fountainhead, The Road to Monticello
Movies: Groundhog Day, Avatar, Pride and Prejudice, Dirty Dancing, Freedom Writers, Last Night
TV Shows: Game of Thrones, House of Cards, House MD, Lie to Me
Have you ever left your home in one pair of pants and without any premeditation ended up going home in another unfamiliar pair? When I decided to sit down today at work in the middle of the day, my pants said, "No! I've had enough! This is the last time you feel my sensual touch of perfect polyester-wool blend on your skin. I will no longer serve to make your ass look great. I will no longer hang at your knees waiting unnecessarily because you decided to finish an article instead of wiping your ass and getting back to work. Today, today I fight back! Good luck getting out of this one!" It's a long speech, but I heard it all in that moment of the rip; not even a rip, it was more of a rapture.
I discovered that being caught in the middle of the office with my ass out is the adult equivalent of being called to the front of the class as a teenager when you have a boner: thinking of dead pigs then was the solution most of the time, but I found it at best a poor distraction in this scenario. My ass is out, I'm at work. I have a meeting in 15 minutes with management. What do you do? The first thing is sending an email to your boss that reads, "Subject: Pants emergency" Body "be back ASAP". He replied with, "No worries". Somehow those were the most soothing words I could hear. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, like someone there understands what I'm going through. Fortunately I wasn't too far from my jacket, but the jacket wasn't long enough to cover my exposed unshaved legs so I had to improvise, I channeled my youth and wrapped the sleeves around my waist like a cool late-80s kid. I strolled out of the office like one too.